“For these parts, I mean. And with Keegan, it’s even rarer.” She pursed her lips and cut me a look that said ‘this isn’t over’ when the waitress came to take our order.
“Hardly rare,” was all I said.
“Did you know Finn ran away from home?”
My heart stuttered in my chest. “He never mentioned it.”
“No, he never does. But did you know, Aoife?”
“Why would I?” I rasped. “If he didn’t tell me, I mean.”
She clucked her tongue when the waitress reappeared, depositing our coffee in front of us. While Lena dosed her latte with sugar, I felt my heart sink to my stomach as she eventually commented, “Finn came to us a very troubled young man. I didn’t know his parents, but I know his father was one of our runners.”
My eyes flared wide at that. “He was?”
“You say that like you knew of him?” Lena cocked a brow at me, and once again, my stomach felt loaded down with stones.
“I’m just surprised.”
She pursed her lips. “Well, I half believe he’s purposely shoved most of his memories of that time away. Stored them in a box in his head. He’s stubborn enough to do it,” she mumbled.
“He has nightmares,” I admitted, not sure why I made the admission except that Lena was obviously in mother hen mode. How could I blame her for protecting Finn? For looking out for him?
“He does?” In her eyes, I saw her sorrow, and she sighed heavily.
Her love for Finn obviously ran true, and I was glad he’d had her in his life. He’d left a mother behind who’d adored him, but for whatever reason, that hadn’t been enough to keep him home. “I’d hoped he’d have grown out of them now.”
“They don’t happen often,” I told her, my voice a rasp. “But he’s scared in them.”
“I imagine. What his father did to him…” Her nostrils flared. “He won’t speak of that time with you, Aoife, but I will. Not to unman him, because I know how these boys are. All pride and ego. I only found out from Aidan because I was worried about his night terrors, but if you’re out to hurt him, I’ll hurt you first. The boy’s been hurt enough–”
“Hurt him?” I squeaked. “The reason we met, Lena, is because he was trying to extort me into bed with him. In this relationship, Finn’s the one who you should be warning.”
“Extort you into bed?” she sputtered, then she fiddled with her earring as a sheepish look etched itself onto her features. “Well, at least I know you didn’t machinate your way into his life.”
I snorted. “No, Lena, I did not.”
“Still, why haven’t you told him who you are?”
“Who am I?” I whispered, suddenly grateful that the café was noisy. Finn couldn’t hear this conversation, and I didn’t want him to.
“Your mother and his were best friends, weren’t they?” She snorted. “Not that she was much of a mother to him.”
“What do you mean?” I cried, then, aware of how loud my voice was, I bit out, “Fiona loved him. She mourned him until the day she died.”
“You love a child, you protect him. Fiona never did that.”
Stung, I leaned forward and ground out, “What did you know about her? Nothing, that’s what. You just stole her son from her! She thought he was dead.”
“That was how Finn wanted it,” Lena retorted with a sniff.
“He was a boy! You should never have allowed him to make that decision.” My heart ached for Fiona who’d been so goddamn heartbroken. Every day praying, every day her hopes dashed. “My mom used to say she died early because of Finn.”
“She died early because she was ashamed. That woman should have made her knees bleed as she tried to atone for her sins.”
I scowled at her. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You were a child,” Lena conceded, “I know that. You wouldn’t have been aware of the inferences.”