Endlessly fucking lying.
“I know it’s not enough,” Lena whispered, then she raised her hand and rubbed tiredly at her face—I saw there were tear tracks down her cheeks, and knew she’d been crying quietly. “Every time I look at her, I’m aware of what I did, but I know this is God’s way of punishing me, making sure I don’t forget what I did. She’s my penance, and I’ll do what I must to make sure that she’s not only safe but that your children are too.”
“And what about the fact that I’m Aidan’s son, Lena? That has to be gnawing at you?”
“No. You’re mine,” she snapped, and her tone was so ferocious that I almost took a step back. She pushed forward into my space, her finger prostrate as she prodded me in the chest. “Shegave birth to you, but you’re mine. I’m the one who made you better. I’m the one who fixed what she broke. You’re mine, Finn.”
My jaw clenched because I’d always fucking wished she was my mom. When I was little, when I’d come over and stayed with the boys after school, she’d bustled around us like a fly, feeding us, patting our shoulders, encouraging us as we groaned about homework. When Gerry had started on me, I’d wanted, so fucking badly, to tell her, and only knowing it would upset her had stopped me.
Yeah. Nuts.
I’d known she would believe me. Had known it implicitly. I’d never, I realized, had any fear that Aidan or Lena would doubt my word. Gerry had told me as he tormented me that nobody would believe me because I was scum, but I’d known they would, and I hadn’t said a fucking word out of pride. It had been easier to run, easier to get away—until my brothers had come for me.
A shudder washed through me and before I knew it, Lena had slipped her arms around my waist, and she was tugging me close. “I love you, Finn. I can never make up for what I did to Aoife, I know that. But I’ll love her like I love you.”
She was so short, so small, but packed as much of a punch as Aoife did. She squeezed me so damn tight it almost hurt, and she did so until I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the crown of her head.
I jolted when Aidan slapped me on the back and half-hugged me too. “Son, I’ll tell the boys soon.”
I was like a fucking woman with these goddamn mood swings, I knew, but I said, “No. We’ll figure out when to tell them. Together.”
We looked at each other, then nodded, and that was that.
***
Aoife
“What’s wrong?”
I winced because I couldn’t exactly tell Jenny that I was missing a father she thought had died years ago. But Iwasmissing my dad, and this was the Tuesday when we were supposed to meet.
Dads fucking sucked.
“Nothing,” I told her as she licked cookie dough from a bowl on the counter. We were in the penthouse, and Jen was staying for dinner.
“Bullshit.”
I snorted. “Fuck you.”
“Fuck me? Why, yes, I would too.”
Despite myself, I grinned. “Good thing I love you.”
She winked. “I love me too.”
“I know. You’re terrible.”
“Nah. I’m luverly,” she mocked the movie we’d been watching while I baked and she caught up on some of her studies—My Fair Ladywith the Queen that was Audrey Hepburn. She winked at me again. “Love you too, sugar. Especially love this place.”
I grinned. “It’s the bomb, right?”
“It totally is.” She whistled. “If the package wasn’t fine enough, he has this place too.”
“That’s right, Jen, she wants me for my penthouse.”
Warmth unfurled inside me at Finn’s voice and I turned around, saw he was standing there and rushed over to him to hug him. Tight.
Fuck, he always smelled so good, and I loved when he hugged me back as though he never wanted to let me go.