But I had no words. Well, not about Finn anyway.
“How long have you been planning this?”
He frowned at me. “What are you talking about?”
“How long have you been contemplating cutting ties with me?” I stared stoically into my tea. The muddy liquid swirled around the delicate china cup.
“Don’t be like this, Aoife.”
Somehow, that answered my question. I nodded and carefully climbed to my feet, and placed my tea on the table, untouched. I’d been managing to stand without much pain, but maybe my emotional pain was coming out in the physical, because I winced as I stood.
“I won’t bother you again, Senator,” I murmured.
Alan released a sigh and grabbed my hand. “Please, Aoife. I have to see this through.”
“And I understand that.” I pulled my hand from his. I wished I could vocalize what I was thinking, what I was feeling, but the words were stuck.
My marrying Finn had probably been the second catalyst. Becoming Senator had been his original goal, but when his popularity had soared, he’d admitted that he had people around him who were willing to back him all the way to the White House.
As the time approached for him to declare himself in the race, I guessed I was shortsighted in not seeing this coming.
My eyes pricked with tears as I went to walk over to the door, and then my aching heart about broke when he whispered, “Aoife, you won’t say anything, will you?”
“When have I ever?” I snapped.
“Does O’Grady know? Did you tell him?”
“No. He asked me why my father wasn’t coming to the wedding, and I said we’d argued,” I lied. Finn had known about Alan being my father for months. “Alan, I didn’t ruin your chance of being Senator, and I won’t ruin your prospects now. Just be a better President than you are a father, okay?”
Before he could say another word, I stepped out into the hallway and allowed the tears to fall.
Whatever I’d anticipated today, it hadn’t been that.
I’d been waiting so long to meet with him again. I’d missed him. We’d only been able to text infrequently, but now I wondered if that was intentional on his part. He’d been cutting ties all along. And I was so used to not being important to him that I just took it. Accepted the crumbs he gave me.
Fuck. I was pathetic.
Stepping into the lobby, I grabbed my sunglasses from my purse and put them on to hide my pink eyes from Billy. My guard was sitting on one of the sofas in the foyer, and the second he saw me, he was on his feet and heading my way. His hand tucked around my elbow because Finn had informed him I was still shaky on my feet, and I allowed him to guide me out of the boutique hotel for the final time.
Disappointed was an understatement.
Inside, I was devastated. But Alan had always had the potential to act this way. I should have realized that, the higher up the ladder he moved, the less time I’d have with him. I’d been naïve. Then again, this wasn’t on me but him. He was my father, after all.
The sun was surprisingly warm as we walked outside. Samuel was waiting, and it was a relief because my legsdidfeel shaky.
I sank back into the comfortable confines of Finn’s town car and tried not to feel like my heart had been broken when it most definitely had.
Ironically enough, it had nothing to do with the man my father said would hurt me. Finn hadn’t yet, and I had a feeling he never would. But Alan? Nuh-uh. He definitely was not someone I needed in my life.
It was his loss.
Not mine.
But that didn’t stop my eyes from welling with more tears as Sam drove Billy and I across town and back home.