CHAPTER TEN
Ilay awake for hours after that, unable to sleep after the events of the day. A lot has happened, and my mind is full of chaotic thoughts that I can’t help but stew over.
Cole begged me to trust him and kissed me like he meant it, but what does it mean? He doesn’t prevaricate, so I do believe him, but I don’t know what to do about it because he was pretty fucking vague. Was he saying, I love you? Or please wait for me? Or just I need you?
I don’t know and asking me to trust him implies I will see things that will test that trust. A perfect example is him kissing me right before leaving with Marie for a fucking check-up at the doctor.
Frankly, I’m not sure I have it in me to hold on much longer because our relationship status borders on the ludicrous at this point, and if social media were still a thing, it would have whiplash.
Not only that, but now I have to pretend I’m in a relationship with Enzo. I hope he doesn’t think we’re going to have sex because I am not in the right headspace for that. Which, by the way, makes me suspicious of Cole’s motives. Maybe he told me what he did to keep me from just that, which pisses me off but doesn’t change my mind.
Eventually, I slip off into sleep as the sun rises over the horizon, but when I wake several hours later, Enzo hasn’t returned. My watch is now well and truly gone, and I don’t know what time it is, but the sun is high in the sky, so I assume it’s later in the afternoon.
I’m hungry, but without any concept of the actual time, I won’t know if it’s dinner time without venturing out, and I don’t know if Enzo plans to come back and get me.
I also don’t want to leave because the specter of facing not only Shepherd but his sycophants is abhorrent, but I have no choice if I want to regain my strength. I’ve lost too much weight as it is, and I’m weak, which makes me a liability, especially for Enzo and even Cole, who has more significant issues to worry about.
It’s these thoughts that get me up and going, but I’m wary as I pass by folks on the sidewalk. I never bothered to get to know any of these people, and this was probably a mistake on my part. Now I have few in the way of allies.
I spot David crossing the street and walking toward me, his giant frame eating up the pavement, and I stumble over my feet. I don’t want to talk to David, make nice with David, or frankly, ever see David again, but I school my features into indifference when he raises his hand in greeting.
I’ll die before I show it, but fear is congealing inside of me and with it, an ugly rage. He carried out Shepherd’s demands with no remorse and fucking lured us here from the start. He’s a snake in the grass, and if ever there comes a time to make him pay, I’ll be the first in fucking line.
“Hey,” he says jovially, and I pull my lips into a wan smile.
“Hi.”
“Lola, how are you, dear?” he asks, stopping beside me.
“I’m fine, good,” I respond, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants.
My fight or flight instinct is ramping up, and my body is coiled to respond to the threat I now perceive him to be, but I can’t do anything but make nice with the fucker. For now.
“Good, good. Are you headed to the diner? I’ll walk with you,” he says, raising his hand and motioning for me to go ahead of him.
With a stiff nod, I precede him up the sidewalk, fighting the adrenaline that makes my limbs shake while he rambles behind me.
I’m dumbfounded by his behavior, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because surely, he’s a fucking psychopath. He greets people on the street as we pass, but I’m so amped up that I can’t track what he’s saying, and I can only hope he doesn’t expect a response. What’s even more mystifying is that people light up at the sight of him and greet him happily, which makes my stomach sour at their naivete.
David is the devil’s minion in disguise, and these people have no idea that he has no qualms about being Shepherd’s henchman.
I spot Enzo by the dining hall and relax slightly. Safety in numbers is the only thought I have right now. That and knowing I cannot depend on my body to save me if push comes to shove.
Enzo spots me and nods, his face darkening slightly at the sight of David, but it disappears just as quickly when he leans down and brushes his lips against mine before murmuring, “Baby doll.”
I stiffen, slightly taken aback, but resist the urge to pull away because my acting skills or lack thereof may be what determines how long I live.
“Honey,” I murmur.
He grabs my hand, and I glance away, fighting for calm I don’t feel. A flurry of disappointed women stares back at me. Whatever. At least they’re still free. I’m fucking trapped.
Cole is standing with Marie at the door, and his eyes burn a hole into Enzo’s face before sliding to mine and then away. I don’t have time to react before he pulls Marie in through the threshold and out of view, and it’s probably for the best because he wouldn’t like my bitchy snarl anyway.
Wearily, I look back to Enzo to find him gazing off into the distance, but when I turn, I see nothing and tug on his hand, motioning to the doors. With a nod, we wait in line and collect our food, and just as we’re sitting down to eat, a commotion outside draws our attention.
Enzo, Cole, and several of the men are out of their seats and through the door immediately. I stand and follow more slowly. When I step outside, I’m surprised to find a dozen or so zombies in the street.
It’s only been weeks, but being inside the walls has tempered the horror of what exists beyond, and now it’s back in my face in living color.