It’s a wonder I don’t choke on the fucking word and I’m pleased with my acting skills at that.
Shepherd’s eyes brighten, and I suppress a shudder because I know all too well what that damn smile means. Shit. Sweat rolls down my spine and I pray harder than I ever have before, except instead of wishing for me, I hope the fucker dies a painful ass death. Probably not an appropriate plea to the Almighty, but yeah, I’ve already established that I think I’m going to hell.
Fuck. Maybe I’m already there.
“Excellent, excellent,” Shepherd says. “I hope you understand that this was all for your own good. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do.”
“I, of course, Shepherd. I . . . appreciate that.” I can’t force anything else past my teeth, which are clenched so tightly I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them crack under the pressure. Fucker.
He bows his head humbly and I grasp the blankets beside me to keep myself from jumping out of this bed and wailing on the dick.
“Good, good. I am happy you can see, Lola. So happy.”
I glance at Enzo out of the corner of my eye to see him studying me with a solemn expression, but Shepherd draws my attention when he rubs his hands together and says brightly. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I am here with good news.”
Fuck. Keep your cool. Do not freak out, but dread is circling the drain. Still, I have to hold it together, which is why I force a smile on my face. I have no idea what’s about to come out of his mouth, but I’m fairly sure I’m not going to like it.
“I’ve decided who your partner should be.”
Huh?
“I’m not sure what you mean?” I say in genuine confusion.
“We all have our part to play, Lola. All of us. And part of this new world is repopulating. I’ve chosen the perfect specimen for you to procreate with,” he beams at me. Beams.
A bubble of hysteria pushes at my lungs, and I think I might just lose my marbles because I don’t know how much more of this mind fuck I can take. This guy is unreal.
“Now, don’t look so alarmed.” He chuckles. “I think Enzo here would be perfect. Don’t you?”
I stare at him with wide eyes, the pressure in my skull building as he continues in a firm tone. “Lola, I’m doing you a favor. Enzo is a prime specimen, and he will make someone a fine partner with strong babies.”
I’m pretty sure the bastard wants me to fall all over myself in gratitude, but I can only stare until once again, Enzo shifts from where he’s standing.
“Thank you,” I say stiffly.
Shepherd studies me carefully, and I resist the urge to squirm, although I do lower my eyes this time because I’m fucking trembling, and being strong-willed in the face of his censure isn’t going to save me if I end up back in the hole. Only when he smiles at me and claps Enzo on the back before striding toward the door, do I relax, but it’s short-lived when he says without turning back. “Oh, and Lola, I’d be careful. We wouldn’t want to see you back in the same situation now, would we?”
I don’t have time to respond before he’s out the door, and we sit in stiff silence for a few minutes before Enzo gets up, peers out the door, and closes it gently behind him.
“What the fuck, Enzo?” I whisper-shout.
“Shh,” he says, bringing his finger to his lips as he stands at the door and listens for several aching minutes before finally relaxing and turning back to me.
“Look, I know this isn’t ideal, but I had to convince him of something. It was the only way to get around this. You could have died, Lola,” he says before I can lambaste him.
“Ha! I know that. But how is this,” I wave my arm back and forth between us, “going to solve anything?”
With a sigh, he says, “I told him you would be my responsibility. I made him realize that if he wanted me . . . to stay, that he needed to pull back.”
“To stay? So, he would, what, just let you go?” I scoff.
He shrugs, turning away from me and I note through narrowed eyes that his back is rippling with tension.
“Lola, trust me. This was the best I could do. It’s better me than some stranger, no? I don’t expect anything. I don’t.”
I stare at him for a few minutes before deflating because he’s my fucking friend, and I’m being a bitch. “Of course, Enzo. I know.”
At my words, he exhales before sitting by me on the bed. I smile to show him I understand but freeze when he brushes his hand down my cheek and says, “I was so scared when we couldn’t find you, Lola. We’ll figure this out. I won’t let anything happen to you.”