I stayed the night at the clinic. Why I don’t know because anxiety attacks are relatively common, and I wasn’t in any danger, but I didn’t have the energy to resist when they insisted. Once released, I found myself reassigned duties, which is a profound relief since I won’t have to see Marie daily anymore.
It would seem someone is punishing me, though, because I’m relegated to the makeshift barns and assigned to mucking out the stalls, feeding the animals, and doing basic ranch-type stuff once again. I suppose I should be grateful it isn’t worse, but the work is backbreaking, and after so much time on the farm, the only positive of it burning down was never having to scoop shit again. Now, not so much.
The good news is that I don’t see too many people down this way. Michael, the man in charge, showed me around the space and set me to work before leaving me to it, which I appreciated. I’m not much for socializing right now, and small talk is way beyond my abilities at this point. However, after a few days, I realize the isolation is probably not helping with my depressive tendencies.
I can’t do much about it because nobody argues with Shepherd; therefore, I’ll be cleaning up after animals for the rest of my fucking life.
The following morning, we all gather for the obligatory daily sermon. It starts innocuously enough, with Shepherd waxing poetic about saving us all from sin, but it takes a sinister turn that inspires me to tune in and listen when he raises his voice.
“We, the flock, have survived in these trying times for a reason. The end as we know it has come because God has willed it so. God weeps tears at the lost cause of man, warring against each other for land, money, and power. Fornicating with children, creating life without the sanctity of wedlock, raising children without the ear of God, and let’s not forget the abomination of man loving man.
“God has spoken through me, ladies and gentlemen. He has told me the way and guided me in the true ways of this world. I am the chosen one, and through me, you will find salvation. We are here to fight a battle the likes of which we have never seen. A war against evil itself,” he says, his eyes alight with a passionate intensity.
“Who is evil, you ask? Sinners! Sinners out in this cruel new world and the sinners sitting here in this room who persist in following the crooked path. But don’t worry, I am here. We are here to make you see the way. These times may be challenging, but they are just. You will see.
“Now, Ben Johnson, please stand up.”
The man I presume to be Ben Johnson stands from his chair, with his head bowed, and a trickle of unease runs through me when Shepherd continues.
“Ben here thought it would be okay to have carnal relations with Susan. Susan, please stand up.”
Susan stands two rows before me and bows her head. I glance around with a frown because no one says a fucking word while this asshole sets out to humiliate them.
“Susan, did you fuck Ben? Did you defile the word of God? Did you sin in this place where we are working to restore the will of the Almighty? Do you understand the consequences of your actions? That you have sinned? That God has willed it so?” he screams, spittle flying from his mouth.
“Because you have decided your fate. You have punished yourself. You know the ways of God. I have told you the ways of God. You have defied me. Me!” he bellows, slapping his chest.
Someone in another row starts to weep, but I can’t take my eyes from Shepherd while he screams his diabolical will at us, and we sit here like good little fucking sheep and do nothing.
“And now you will pay the ultimate price. David? David show them the way. Show them and everyone else here, the flock, what happens when you defy God. When you defy me, God’s holiest messenger. Ben and Susan have made their choice, and their choice is sin, so now they will meet his ultimate punishment.”
Susan glances to the side, and I see she is a fresh-faced young woman with pale blond hair and brows. Her face is screwed up in terror and tears roll down her cheeks. My stomach clenches at the sight because I have no idea what’s going on but it can’t be good.
Ben, a tall, hulking guy with heavy muscles, tan skin, and dark hair covered by a ball cap, stares at David with a stormy expression when he approaches.
The tension in the room is so thick, the hair on my arms prickles, and I glance around to gauge the reaction of my fellow people. Some watch on with anticipation, others with worried looks and wild glances, and my gut swoops at the sight before I search out Enzo. He no longer sits with me, which I’ve only now noticed because I’ve been too caught up in my misery, and now I feel guilty that I abandoned him in this new wretched place.
I spot Cole before I do Enzo, seated a few rows ahead of me, sitting ramrod straight, and I can’t see his face, but tension radiates from his stiff body in waves. Marie is slumped against his side with her face half-buried in his arm.
I move past him with a small, bitter smile before I spot Enzo, several rows up and over, sitting next to a petite blonde who has her hand wrapped around his bicep.
Wow, that was quick. He’s already got a girl. We’ve been here, what, a few weeks? Fuck, talk about abandoning me to the first bitch who walks by. I mean, I thought he was my friend, and he dumped me for some girl and dove headfirst into the community to boot.
I need to get my head out of my ass and start paying attention because it would seem that I’m truly on my own. What a fucking cluster.
Susan’s sobs turn hysterical, and I swing back around just as David grabs her arm and pulls her out from the row she was sitting in. Ben, still standing at his seat, clenches his hands into fists before releasing them, and I watch horrified as he clenches and releases over and over, a ticking time bomb about to go off.
The entire scene is so fantastical that I can’t help but watch it unfold frozen in my seat, the air stuck in my chest. What the hell is happening?
David deposits Susan at the front of the room and walks back toward Ben with his hands out in a non-confrontational gesture, although it’s clear from his grim expression that he expects Ben will follow. Ben does, but with a dark scowl on his face as he lumbers behind David and goes to stand beside Susan, only for David to pull him away and lead him through a door behind the podium.
Where are they taking him?
Ben glances back wildly but allows himself to be pushed through, and David disappears behind him. Susan stands at the front, sobbing into her hands. She’s so hysterical that her limbs are visibly trembling.
What will Shepherd do to her? And how can he possibly think that loving someone is a crime?
“Now, Susan,” Shepherd says in a soothing voice, stroking her hair gently. “Now, now.”