His voice is gravelly from fatigue, and I blink at him as the tears well again.
“What happened?” I ask in a scratchy voice.
His brow furrows and his mouth forms a thin line. “Not sure. We didn’t find any outside people. These were all our own.”
“How’s that possible? Was Manny bitten? I didn’t see anything.” I ask, immediately discounting that theory. Manny would never endanger other people, never. If he had been bitten, he would never have come back to the ranch.
“No.” He shrugs, and my head bobs up and down. “Manny didn’t have any injuries that we could find.”
“What the fuck?” I ask, my mind swirling with confusion. How was that even possible? Other than those infected in the initial biochemical attack, every person had to be bitten to be infected. It doesn’t make sense.
“Does this mean,” I clear my throat, “that something’s happened with the weapon, the biochemical stuff?”
His eyes shutter and he sits up, setting me aside gently. Although he’s beside me, I feel the distance acutely as he closes down, rising and turning away. “I don’t know, Lo.”
Smarting for a moment, I watch him go. He always leaves when the going gets tough, but I talk myself down from confronting him. Cole needs to process alone by his big broody self, and so I will leave him to it.
But I’m wary when I step outside, glancing around the area before I search for Jan or Michele in the hopes of gaining more information. The bodies still lay in the courtyard, now lined up to be moved somewhere for burial. We usually don’t take a lot of time to bury the zombies, but these are our fallen comrades, and we will honor them the best way we know how.
I catch Michele walking around the house, and she immediately wraps me up in a fierce hug, to which tears crawl into my eyes again. This death could just as easily have been her or Cole, and my whole body shudders at the thought. I don’t think I can live in a world without either of them, but the odds of it becoming a reality are not in my favor.
“I’m so sorry, Lo,” she says, stroking my hair.
I take a deep breath and step back, wiping my eyes and mumbling, “It’s okay.”
She gives me a piteous look, and I shrug before struggling for a half-smile. I’m reasonably sure it’s ghastly, but she returns the favor, and I grimace at the result before turning away and walking back to the carnage.
Manny’s body is already getting stiff, and his eyes are now glazed over and cold, but at least the snarl on his face is gone. He would never have wanted to harm someone else, and my heart aches that he somehow hurt at least one other person for there to be ten other dead people in our community.
It doesn’t make any sense, and I’m reeling under the possibilities until I reach the last body in line, and I gasp. Fuck me. Katie’s lifeless form is laid out as well. Her face is ringed with blood and her lips are twisted back in a death snarl. Luckily, her eyes are closed because I don’t think I could take the sightless expression in her eyes.
She has strips of skin missing from both of her arms, and I blink rapidly when tears form. Was she scared? Caught unaware? Fuck me.
At least now Katie can be with her family, with her parents that loved her so much. And Manny with his mother, sister, and abuela. This is the only thing I can allow myself to believe in order to let Manny and Katie go.
???
The time rolls by after that, with a few days passing where the group remains quiet and reflective. I’ve been broody and reserved myself, giving Cole a run for his money as I retreat behind a mask of doubt and pain.
The only folks that don’t seem to be too affected by our loss are Enzo, Sofia, and their small group. They still chat and laugh as we go about our business with solemn expressions and shocked eyes. And I can’t help the bubble of resentment that rises in my chest every time they find humor in something. How can they go on so easily when my heart is dead in my chest? I mention it to Cole and Michele, who point out that Enzo and Sofia didn’t know any of us that well.
At their platitudes, I stop complaining about it, but it still burns in my heart. These fuckers are assholes, and I hate them. Why do they get to live when pure, amazing people like Katie and Manny had to die? And where the fuck were they when the zombies were roaming the courtyard? I know I’m being unreasonable, but it’s so much easier to feel anger than sadness.
Besides, I can’t shake the suspicion that Manny’s death wasn’t something more than just the biochemical weapon gone awry. We haven’t experienced a single death this way, so how did Manny miraculously turn zombie without a scratch on him?
When I discussed my suspicions with Cole, he sighed and told me we didn’t know what the biochemical weapon was capable of and that I was being paranoid. Needless to say, this did not improve my mood, and I find myself avoiding him to prevent the fight that’s brewing between us. He wants me to grieve and register the sadness within. Well, too fucking bad because my mind is consumed with what-ifs.
What if this wasn’t the weapon but something more sinister? Isn’t it a little too fucking coincidental for Enzo and Sofia to show up right before people turn insta-zombie and attack?
My mind is awhirl with ridiculous possibilities like Sofia actually being a zombie but not looking like one due to piles of makeup and plastic surgery. Or she’s an alien zombie that escaped the others’ gross, decomposing body fate, only to seek out fresh flesh.
I’m debating these same possibilities when I hear someone approach me from behind while I’m hoeing the garden and creating cute little rows for future fruits or vegetables. I can’t be trusted with anything else right now.
Turning my head, I find Enzo standing before me with his customary grin. I glower at him before turning back to the soil. He’s the last person I want to see right now, and my paranoia over him somehow miraculously infecting Manny is my current favorite theory. It’s why I can’t look at him. I’m so fucking angry I’m not sure what I might do.
“Lola,” he says cautiously.
“What?” I snarl.