Head bowed, both Liv and Finn brushed past her. Bryce watched as their figures retreated safely across the footbridge and began the hike back to the field, and readied herself to follow. Warmth at her hands stopped her. Thea had interlaced their fingers and looked at her with watery, concerned eyes that Bryce found it hard not to crumble beneath.
“I’m sorry, Bryce,” Thea whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Bryce’s chin wobbled. She gritted her teeth to steady it.No. Not now. You’ve managed this far.“Still think it’s Shaw?”
“I… I don’t knowwhatI think anymore. I just wantedyouto be safe. Maybe you’re right.” Tears spilled over Thea’s cheeks, and Bryce couldn’t look at her anymore. It hurt too much to see her cry. “Maybe all of thisisjust an obsession left over from my dad’s murder. I guess that makes sense. I just wanted answers. I just wanted you to be safe. If someone hurt you the way they hurt him…”
Thea’s voice broke, and Bryce winced against it. She hadn’t thought of it that way. She hadn’t known Thea’s loss could ever extend to Bryce, too. “Youhurt me, Thea.”
“I didn’t mean to. I swear I didn’t mean to. You’re right. I was fucked up. I made such a mess, and none of it was worth losing you over. None of it.” Thea gathered Bryce into a tight hug, and Bryce didn’t have it in her to pull away. Despite everything, this was still the only way she could ever feel safe: with Thea. And she knew that, awful as it was, this was just another way Thea had thought she was taking care of Bryce. She was always doing that: taking care of her.Someone has to.
She let herself relax when Thea’s hands tickled the nape of her neck and then ran soothing circles across her back. “I love you, Bryce,” she muttered into Bryce’s shoulder, clinging on to her as though for dear life. “I love you. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too,” Bryce admitted. “I shouldn’t have brought up your dad.”
“You were right.”
“I was being cruel.”
“You deserved to be. Look at what I’ve done to us.” Thea pulled away only slightly, and Bryce felt the tears she’d left behind dampening her shirt. She knew, then, that this was why they would always make sense, and why she could never stay mad at Thea for too long. Because Thea had seen Bryce at her worst and was still here. And Bryce could only return that same courtesy.
They would always be there for one another. Always. Nothing could ever drive them apart, not even each other. Not even their ugliest sides. Because even then, even when it hurt, it was all driven by their love for one another.
And BrycelovedThea. She loved her more than anything, save for her sister and maybe Neve Campbell. Thea was the only thing Bryce chose every single day, and she would keep choosing her. She couldn’t remember it being any other way, and it wasn’t something she could unlearn or run from.
She longed to be closer to Thea, still. She wanted to feel her warmth, have her close enough that Bryce wouldn’t be tempted to push her away again, so she let her forehead rest against Thea’s, listening to the way her chest heaved with suppressed sobs as Thea’s soft hands found her jaw.
“I love you,” Thea whispered again, though she didn’t need to. Bryce could feel it as well as she could feel her own heart beating. “I’m so sorry.”
She didn’t know how their lips fell together after that. She didn’t know how it hadn’t happened sooner, either, as weightless warmth blossomed through her. There was nothing but Thea and the taste of mingling, salty tears, and the way Bryce felt about her, as though she never wanted to let her go. She had thought that a love like this would make her ache, but here, now, she couldn’t imagine it ever aching. It was the only thing in her life, perhaps, that didn’t hurt at all, and Bryce chose to let it in, chose to let herself be vulnerable to it,her,as the kiss deepened and their noses brushed.
She’d been worried that the jealousy she’d felt not too long ago might break them if she let herself feel it, because friends weren’t supposed to be jealous, weren’t supposed to feel too much. But there was no danger of that now. They were here, together, and nothing was breaking or hurting or wrong. Nothing would ever break them.
For the first time in Bryce’s life, the shadows couldn’t catch her. Thea had chased them all away.