"Of course. Which part?”
"I'm not normal," I whisper. "Because I saw what you did to him, and I still don't think you're a monster."
"You’re wrong about that, Emery. I am a monster." His face is perfectly emotionless. He isn’t trying to scare me. He’s being honest. Telling the truth.
Or what he thinks is the truth. I’m not so sure I believe it anymore.
“You woke up in the middle of the night to fight an intruder,” I tell him. “You weren’t even going to wake me up.”
“Maybe I just didn’t want you getting in the way.”
I shake my head. “You know, for a long time, I thought you just felt weirdly obligated to look out for me and Isabella. But you said before you don’t do anything you don’t want to do. You take care of us, Adrik. You look out for us and protect us because you want to. A monster… well, a monster wouldn’t do that.”
He narrows his eyes in thought. Then he turns around and pulls his shirt over his head. The muscles under his skin ripple in the moonlight.
His body is a masterpiece and a weapon. It's my salvation and my destruction.
And even after everything that has happened tonight, I want him.
When he’s down to his boxers, his body glimmering with sweat, he spins back to me. “You’re wrong,” he repeats. “I am a monster. We’re all monsters.”
“That seems like a bleak view of humanity.”
“Because I’ve seen the worst of it,” he says. “Humans are selfish and cruel and possessive and jealous and greedy. And violent. Violent above all. The only difference is… some of us are better at it.”
“Like you?” I guess.
He nods. “I’m the best of them all.”
I frown. “But you aren’t—”
“I’m selfish,” he interrupts. “It would be safer for you and Isabella if I killed Yasha and then let you go. You would be better off if I never saw you again. But I won’t do that.”
“I don’t want you to do that.”
“I’m jealous, too,” he says, steamrollering over my words like I never even spoke. “And violent and cruel and all the rest of it. Because you’re mine, and I don’t care if you like that or not, and I’ll kill anyone who tries to take you from me.”
“You won’t have to,” I say softly. “I’ll kill them myself.”
He arches a brow in obvious amusement and carries on. “You are safe and warm in my bed right now, looking at me with lust in your eyes—and it’s not because I’m a good man.”
He leans forward and plants his hands on the end of the bed. He looks up into my eyes, and I feel his gaze like a physical touch stroking over my skin.
“It’s because I’m the worst monster of them all.”
My heart is thundering even harder now than it was earlier tonight. “Then what does it say about me that I don’t care?”
His mouth tips up in a smirk. “Maybe that you’re not all that smart.”
I roll my eyes and smack him on the shoulder. “Ass. Way to ruin the moment.”
“I did tell you to stay in the room for a reason.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t. But you kept me safe anyway. Maybe I’ll repay you by listening every now and then.”
He chuckles and stands up. “I won’t hold my breath.”
He slips into the shower. I lie in bed, listening to the patter of water on the tile floor. I know I could go and join him. He’d probably do deliciously monstrous things to me in there.
But I like the strange, easy familiarity of this moment. Lying in bed while he rinses his enemies’ blood from his body, waiting for him to step back into the bedroom and lie down next to me.
It’s our violent version of normal.
When Adrik comes back in, he has a towel twisted low around his waist. He drops it with zero self-consciousness and turns to me as he pulls on boxers.
“We need to leave.”
I blink. I’m not sure what I expected him to say, but it wasn’t that. “What?”
“We can’t stay here anymore,” he says. “It’s too isolated. And too many people know where we are. We’ll be better off back at the compound.”
“But you said Yasha could track us—”
“He tracked us here,” he says. He sighs and leans down to stroke my chin with his warm fingers. “I’ll be by your side through all of it. You’ll be safe there.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I trust you.”
* * *
The next afternoon, as we’re loading up the car, I notice a fresh mound of dirt between two trees off to the right.
Adrik catches my eye and nods. “I dug the hole deep. Sasha will make sure the earth flattens and then plant a bush or something. It will be fine.”
I nod and swallow. “I know.”
Isabella wheels out into the garage, her excited voice echoing off the walls. “When we get back, I’m going to ride go-karts. Do you think Stefan will ride with me?”
“Stefan might be busy working,” I warn her.
“But he can find some time,” Adrik adds. “And if he can’t, I’ll ride with you.”
She grins. “You will?”
“Yep,” Adrik says. “But only if you’re okay losing.”
Isabella’s smile shifts into a stern, no-nonsense frown. “Yeah, right. I’m the fastest.”
“I guess we’ll have to see about that,” he says.
The two of them argue back and forth about who is going to win for the first five minutes of the drive. And then Isabella passes out without warning.
“I think the medication makes her sleepy,” I tell him as I fluff the pillows around her. “I don’t know enough about science to even begin to explain it, but maybe rebuilding some of her muscles is wearing her out.”
“I’m glad it’s working.”
“I’m glad you were able to help keep her in the trial. I thought maybe once Malcolm died, things would fall apart.”
He scoffs. “I don’t need Malcolm Waters for shit. I can take care of you both on my own.”
His phone vibrates in the center console, interrupting the conversation.
“We must be back in service range,” I say.
Adrik grabs the phone and hands it to me. “Check that for me.”
“Excuse me? You want me to look at your phone?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but, but…” I shake my head. “What if it’s business? You thought I might be a spy just a week ago.”
He rolls his eyes. “Check the damn phone, Emery.”