“Yep,” I said without hesitation because it really did make sense to me. Before I’d met Parker, I wouldn’t have understood it at all, but these days, I sure as hell felt like he was the missing piece of my puzzle.
Sometimes. When he’s not being an insufferable asshole who can’t follow advice despite the fact that he’s paying for it.
Lennon smiled softly as she watched Nash walking toward a group of kids with the program coordinator at his side. “I don’t quite know how I knew he was the one. I just did. It was there in the way I felt when he looked at me and the way he made time for me even after he went back to work. Let’s face it, the man is a complete workaholic, but now he prioritizes our time together despite everything else he’s got going on. It’s not always easy for him. Sometimes, it’s like it physically pains him to have to shut it off, but he does it anyway. For me.”
That same look of wonder that was on his face earlier crept onto hers, and that was what really drove it home that these two were in awe of each other. They made it look so easy to be as hopelessly in love as they were, and yet they both seemed to truly be surprised by the other.
In Lennon’s case, it was the sacrifices Nash made for her, and in his case, it had been the fact that she’d cottoned on to exactly what he’d needed to hear and had meant it when she’d said it. It’d been obvious that she’d given him a different perspective on the matter and that it was one he hadn’t considered but agreed with all the same.
It made me wonder about love and if it was possible for someone like me after all. Nash’s work-life balance had been so out of whack that he’d nearly had a heart attack. Surely, if someone like him could slow down and deliberately make time for a relationship, so could I. Even if it seemed impossible.
The program coordinator had gotten Nash settled with the group, and she grinned as she motioned for me to join her. I smiled at Lennon before taking off. “I hope I’ll be seeing you around here more often. It was fun talking to you.”
“Oh, you’ll be seeing me more often,” she said, those eyes of her twinkling again as she looked at me. “In fact, you and I are friends now. I’ll ask Nash to text you my number. I like you and I’m always on the lookout for more friends.”
Taken aback by how genuine and direct she was, I realized that it made me like her even more. I smiled, suddenly shy but also strangely happy to have found someone who really wanted to be my friend. “Sure. I’d love that. As soon as I have your number, I’ll text you so you have mine.”
“I’ll add you to the group chat with the girls,” she said without any hesitation. “Be prepared for waking up to dirty jokes and a whole hell of a lot of random chatter.”
An unfamiliar warmth spread through my chest. I’d never been part of a group chat before, but it sounded amazing—if time-consuming. “I can’t wait. See you later.”
“See ya.” She tossed her hand up in a wave and immediately started chatting up a storm to the child she was being introduced to.
I walked over to the program coordinator and a girl I’d worked with before. Anastasia was thirteen, a tiny redhead who I’d clicked with instantly and who might as well have been a mini-me. After making sure we were okay, the coordinator left me alone with her and I took a seat on the threadbare sofa Ana seemed to favor.
“How’re you doing?” I asked. “Still struggling to finish your homework every night?”
She nodded shyly, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she sighed and looked down at her lap. “It’s just so difficult to move on to the next assignment when it doesn’t feel like the one I’m busy with is perfect yet.”
In our previous sessions, I’d been pushing her to do her best and then move on, but this time, that didn’t feel right.Maybe I’ve been given a bit of a different perspective recently myself.
“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes,” I said gently, waiting until her gaze lifted to mine. I saw the surprise flickering in it, and I chuckled as I gave her a what-can-you-do shrug. “Are you still making lists of everything you need to get through?”
“Yes.” She perked up a little, bending over to pull the shiny pink notebook I’d gotten her out of her backpack and proudly holding it out to me. “It’s all in there. It’s helping me a lot, but I just can’t seem to stay on track. It’s too hard when I don’t know if what I’ve done is right or if it could’ve been done better.”
“Let’s make a list together of all the things you’re good at,” I said, flying by the seat of my pants for once and finding that it was actually working pretty well for me. “That way, whenever you start doubting yourself, you can go back to that list and remember that you’ve got so many strengths. It might just help give you the confidence to move on to the next assignment because I guarantee that what you’d have done by the time you’re finished with one thing is as close to perfect as anyone would’ve been able to get it.”
The little girl still seemed uncertain, but she nodded and paged through her notebook until she found an empty spot. Pulling her pen out of the loop on the side, she poised it over the paper and then paused.
“Okay, so what am I good at?”
I smiled softly, starting to point out a whole host of things that I’d learned about her throughout our sessions. Soon enough, it became clear that she was feeling better, and when she gave it a try, she finished her homework assignment in record time.
Her cheeks were flushed with victory as she put it aside, and she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me in for a big hug. I laughed into her hair, holding on to her as pride surged through my entire being.Flying by the seat of my pants occasionally might not be such a bad idea after all. Maybe I should make a list of my own to reference when things get tough with Parker again.
I’d decided against quitting just yet. It seemed inconceivable to me to just give up, but I was going to need something to remind me of that when I went back to the office after the weekend and was confronted by him again.
Because something told me we hadn’t gotten through the most difficult part of our professional relationship just yet.