I wasn’t following his timeline of events, but I didn’t exactly know it either. What I did know could be a lie. In fact, I was sure a lot of it was.
“What happened to my mother?”
“I foolishly accused her of having an affair with an underling. Things happened and then she was gone, forever. I found her body days after the truth came to light, but you were nowhere to be seen. All that remained of you was an empty car seat.”
Car seat? My timeline was most definitely not right. I always thought I was taken from my mother right after I’d been born. I swear that was the story I’d been told.
“She was a fierce, headstrong woman with a heart too good for this world, but she managed to thrive in it,” he continued.
Ugh. Way to find my weak spot. I could hear the love he still had for her in his voice and sensed the regret in his recollection.
“Would you like me to tell you about her?”
I considered his question and shook my head.
“I think it’s better for me to learn about you because she probably has a lot to do with it.”
He gave me a smile. “That she did.”
“Okay, so before I learn who you are, can you tell me her name?”
His laugh this time lacked all traces of amusement. “That’s the one thing that sadistic bitch did that I’ve never been able to be upset about.”
“What’s that?”
“She gave you your mother’s name.”
I came to learn more about myself than I thought possible, through the history of a stranger. Although by the time we finished speaking he didn’t seem so foreign to me. Santiago Saldaña came from nothing and alongside some figure he kept referring to as if they were a shadow, he built his empire and took over the criminal underground.
He was re-married, but not for love. Apparently, he and Trinity, his second wife, made the mistake of fooling around a few times without a condom. My siblings I had yet to meet were born and he gave them and their mom his name because it was the right thing to do. I would be reaming Judas a new ass about that later. Could he give me a heads up on anything? Now, Trinity had a girlfriend and they all lived happily under the same.
When I asked, “You don’t get lonely?”
He waved me off with a chuckle.
“Don’t worry. I still fuck, gordita. Faline is always around when the whores aren’t doing it for me.”
“Oh, that’s good then,” I replied for lack of a better response.
If talking about your parent’s sex life wasn’t wild enough, I thought Faline was Trinity’s girlfriend. The whole thing made my head spin, so I left it alone. I was choosing to appreciate the fact he was being so open with me, enough so I asked him about the one thing bothering me the most right now.
“If Evie is a catalyst, why is she still alive?”
He leaned back in his chair and stroked his jaw. “Do you think she should be dead?”
“You don’t?”
“Every day, more than anything.”
I could tell he meant that so now I was really confused. “Then…why isn’t she?”
“Perhaps, we were waiting for you.”
“You’re the second person to say something like that to me and I don’t understand what it’s supposed to mean.”
“You will,” was all he said in reply.
Why the hell would no one just answer the question? Did they want me to personally kill this vile bitch? Was she in hiding? I couldn’t be much help in that area if she were.
“The Barron boy makes you happy?” he asked suddenly during the lull in our conversation.
I hesitated to respond to that right away. I myself didn’t know the answer until I said it out loud.
“When I’m with him...yes. But he makes me sad and confused too.”
My face heated with embarrassment as soon as the last words were out of my mouth. Why did I tell him that? Undeterred, he reached across the table and took my hand.
“We’ve all broken a little bit of your heart. There aren’t words I can say to fix that, but I will spend the rest of my life making up for all the ways I’ve failed you, gordita. And so will he, you know how I know that?”
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.
“There’s nothing more pitiful than a king that’s gained everything, just to lose his queen.”
My heart constricted in my chest. I knew he wasn’t only referring to Judas.
“If you decide he isn’t what you want you to come to me at any time. I’ve known the Barrons nearly my entire life. Gemma was your mother’s best friend. That alliance means fuck all if you want out.”
Again, at a loss for words, I replied with a simple, “I’ll keep that in mind.”