I was beginning to lose count of how many times he said exactly the right thing in a manner that made it hard to not believe he meant it. His every word was like a promise just for me. I found myself holding onto them with this almost pathetic desperation to feel like I wasn’t so alone.
I nodded so he knew I got the message. He placed a light kiss on the center of my forehead before letting me go. If his goal was to calm me down, then he somewhat succeeded. I’m not sure there was anything anyone could say that would take away this sense of anxiety entirely.
I hadn’t wanted to meet his parents as it was, meeting one of mine felt like the beginning of a dream that would either be a nightmare or a precious memory.
The house looked like an Aztec castle. Sitting upon a hill and partially built into the ground, it could have been one of those secret hideouts they used in movies.
“You guys really like your fancy mansions,” I mumbled.
“I could live in a penthouse and be satisfied. I built the house for you and the family we’ll have. Kids need space to do the dumb bullshit kids do. We need space so I can drag you to the other side of the house and fuck you when they’re eating lunch.”
There was his mention of kids again. I shot him a wry look. “You’ve really planned this out, haven’t you?”
“Don’t I always plan for everything?”
I’d been somewhat joking, he on the other hand was not.
It made me wonder if this too, was some part of a grand scheme he had going. Just like the ring on my finger. If his words and actions were anything to go by thus far then the only plan, he had was to keep me by his side. This was Judas, though. He was the one who’d flipped my whole world upside down in a matter of seconds. He excelled at being guileful and reticent.
“Shouldn’t I have met them—him—first?”
“No, things were always meant to be this way.”
That reply didn’t evoke trust. I glanced over at him in question. “Things?”
He studied my face as if looking for something. “Theo, park and give us a second.”
“You got it,” he replied, pulling the SUV to the side.
He didn’t question why or protest. He exited the vehicle and shut the door, keeping his back to us to give a sense of privacy.
I was almost envious that one man could make others do his bidding with a few words. A man with the equivalent of a kingdom who was protected like a god and worshipped like one too.
“You think I have an ulterior motive to use or hurt you.”
I stared at him. “Isn’t that the same thing?”
“I…fuck I’m bad at this. It’s the only thing I haven’t excelled at.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked out the side window for a few seconds.
I laughed softly. “Oh, how terrible life is when you’re great at everything.”
His gaze returned to mine with a look of irritation that had me biting back another smile. I loved when I managed to get under his skin.
His eyes dipped to my hand, and he reached for it, holding it tightly. My amusement faded as the magnitude of my situation began to sink in. My old life was a lie. The life after that was a lie.
The here and now was all I had left, wearing a ring from the one who had orchestrated everything. As with an earlier realization, he was also the one who always kept me safe. I let him see I was paying attention and ready to hear whatever he was about to say.
“I know you think I don’t deserve it. I know you have no fucking idea what’s really happening but give me a chance to prove my only plan is to give you the very best life has to offer and heal your heart. You won’t regret it.”
I wasn’t expecting this to be what he said. It was so ass-backward I didn’t know if I should yell, cry, or laugh.
He’d already kidnapped me—essentially. We were sleeping together in a house he claimed was built with our future in mind. I shot my old neighbor in the head because of him. I met his family and he formally announced I was his fiancé. After all of that, he was asking if I would give him a chance?
The logical thing would be to tell him he could go fuck himself. There were a million reasons why I should tell him no. But there were also those rationalizations that made me want to do just that. I wanted to put a band-aid over my scars and be his forever. I rolled my lips and pulled in a deep breath, exhaling it softly before telling him, “Okay, Judas.”