Would she want a nanny?
No. I wanted our kids raised strictly within the famiglia. If we had a girl and she took after Rhiannon we’d need a goddamn bull trainer on standby. I think Brianna would be a good fit for that role. Look, now I was getting ahead of myself.
I rolled my shoulders and flipped Joey’s file shut. I had some time to kill before we left and more than a few things to prepare for tomorrow as well as some emails to respond to. I did a quick check of the surveillance system to see what Rhiannon was doing and found her in the hall just outside of our room.
Her casual attire made her look right at home. I watched her for a few seconds just to see what she’d do. Thankfully making a run for it didn’t seem to be on her agenda. She wouldn’t make it off the property and that wasn’t how I wanted the guards to meet her.
They were to stay out of sight out of mind for the most part. Her trying to escape would really fuck that up. She seemed to be heading for the kitchen. My principessa still loved food. This was one area I knew I could win in without argument. I’d have fresh buffets for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if it meant seeing her smile.
I wanted her to do it all the time. She would need to learn how to despite her new living arrangements. When I said that I would destroy her world and then collect all the shattered pieces so that I could rebuild it, I left out how it would be crafted in the form of an elaborate gilded prison.
With my very own bloodstained hands, I was going to make sure she stayed by my side until we could be placed in a mausoleum together. If there was a one out of a billion chance what we had wasn’t enough to keep her grounded, I would have an urn fit for a queen engraved with her name.
Once her body was burned and poured inside, I’d place it on the mantle across from our bed. She’d still be with me until my life came to an end and my ashes were ready to be mixed with hers. There was no chance of us going to heaven or hell so we might as well be burned and cast into the void together.
I’m sure many men found themselves in this position. At the end of the day, I was doing what was best for Rhiannon, and in turn, doing what was better for me. Everyone would win in the end.
Everything would come full circle. It always did.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The hallway seemed infinitely long. Silence stretched from one end to the other.
Barefooted and dressed only in sweats with the camisole I’d worn beneath my long-sleeved top, I started to retrace my steps from the night before.
A potent aroma of peppers and onions wafted through the air and hooked my taste buds. I let it guide me to what I imagined would be the kitchen. I wanted to walk right out the front door and never look back, but I had to operate with logic in place of the emotions pushing for me to act recklessly.
I think I was doing a decent job all things considered. I’d forgotten my bag in the car last night and in it was my cellphone and wallet. That was one of many issues for me to deal with.
Before figuring out my next move I needed to see what was going on with Audrey. I didn’t know where to start searching for her. With more than a few reasons to avoid any extra run-ins with Judas, wandering through his house didn’t seem like a wise thing to do.
He said she went with Gavin. I wondered if he lived here too. I couldn’t picture either of those two happily cohabitating with another man, but what did I really know about them anymore? Even in high school Gavin and I had been acquaintances at best. He wanted my best friend, and I wanted his. Judas was a different matter. He’d always be painfully familiar to me.
He was the beautiful boy that claimed all my meaningful firsts, things I would always remember and never forget.
He had consumed me.
We were bad together, yet so, so good. He was an addiction I couldn’t help but be addicted to. Choosing to leave him crushed me. The day I walked away was hell. It was like abandoning a large part of myself. Somehow, I managed to do it without falling to pieces. Wouldn’t that have been irony at its finest? Shattering right in front of the person who helped break me.
Days turned into months that eventually became years and as the seasons changed, I would reflect on our tumultuous relationship and the family that I once adored. The memories bled through in painful flashbacks cloaked in a vignette.