pulse to indulge in that right now. Holding her tightly in his arms, he snuggled her against his chest, tucking her head under his chin.
"I'll pull out, if you want me to," he said softly. While both he and the Duke had made quite a bit of money together, over the years, there were other ventures he could make just as much money from. "We're secure. I don't need the deal with your father, I can find another. Grace? Do you want that?"
"I don't know." The sad repetition made him feel almost panicked, because he truly didn't know what to do, but he took heart from the fact that she wasn't trying to get away. If anything, she was snuggling closer to him, seeking comfort from him.
"You don't have to decide anything right now," he said, suddenly realizing that she must be wrung out. Not only had she been furious when she'd first come into the room, but he'd spanked her for quite a while. She was so limp in his arms... she must be exhausted. "I'm going to take you to our room."
Lifting her up, he was both relieved and a bit worried when she didn't argue.
As he'd expected, Peters was out in the hall, about a hundred feet away. Far enough that he probably hadn't been able to overhear much, but that he'd be able to warn others away from the hall. After a few quick directions to the butler, Alex headed for his room, Grace lying unmoving in his arms.
In their room, Alex practically babied her. Not to make up for the spanking, she knew that... but she wasn't entirely sure why. Because he felt guilty? Because he'd been telling the truth and he cared for her?
Peters brought food and drink, which Alex practically hand fed her, while holding her on his lap. To her surprise, she was both hungry and thirsty. Especially thirsty. She would have thought that she wouldn't be able to eat a thing, but once she got started, she devoured nearly the entire plate. Alex undressed her and tucked her into bed, before disrobing and crawling in behind her.
She lay somewhere between sleep and wakefulness as he curled himself around her, his front pressed against her back. The thick ridge of his cock wedged between her sore buttocks, but he didn't press himself on her. Instead, he just seemed to want to stroke her. To be as close to her as possible.
"Why didn't you come and talk to me?" she asked, her voice a mere whisper in the room. Facing away from him, yet surrounded by his body, it was once again easier to make herself vulnerable. To speak about the past that had hurt her so badly.
"I don't have a good reason," Alex said, tucking her even more tightly against him as he buried his face in her hair. "Youth and stupidity are the best explanations I have. I was hurt you left me. Angry. I wanted to make you come back to me instead of going to you."
His fingers stroked between her breasts, down to her stomach, up and down and up and down. It didn't feel sexual. It felt comforting. The kind of small, intimate touches that he'd used on their honeymoon, as if he just couldn't get enough of touching her.
"If I'd known..."
"I was too hurt to tell you." Although now she wished she had. Youth and stupidity indeed. Too hurt. Too proud. Too angry. Although, even if he had told her, would she have believed him?
Maybe eventually. If he'd acted the way he was now. But she wasn't sure that he would have, back then. They'd both changed over the years. Matured. They were different people. Grace no longer saw the world as so black and white, she also no longer saw it as always rosy and good. Being in love didn't mean that life would automatically be easy and wonderful. Watching her friends had taught her that. Edwin and Eleanor's path had been particularly rocky, even though it was obvious that they loved each other.
Was her and Alex's relationship something like that?
"I don't blame you." Now Alex's voice was bitter. "If I had heard you saying something similar about me... I almost wish I'd never made the deal. I could have had you without it."
Grace snorted. "You may be underestimating my father's lust for money. It's all he cares about."
That was the difference, she suddenly realized. Her father only cared about money. If Alex was the same as her father, he might have faked his way through their courtship and wedding, maybe even their honeymoon, but once the deal was set, he would have turned his back completely. That was how she'd always interpreted Alex's behavior when they came back to London. He didn't need her anymore.
But her father would have never protected his wife in such circumstances. While he might not have divorced her, he wouldn't have paid for her housing and clothing either. He would have used his money to force her back to him. And if he did go after her, he certainly wouldn't have done it in the same method as Alex. No, her father liked to shut his wife and daughters away when they caused him trouble.
Alex didn't just let her see her friends, he took her to them. He stayed by her side. Allowed her to go out when she wanted, even without him. Showed her tenderness, caring. Spanked her to correct her behavior, rather than caging her in punishment. And after he spanked her, he comforted her. Held her. Like he was doing now.
She couldn't remember if her father had ever held her in such a way. She'd certainly never witnessed him doing so with her mother or sisters.
The offer to withdraw from business with her father floated through her mind. That was definitely something her father never would have done. Not for anyone.
"Will you really end the agreement with my father?" Grace asked, twisting slightly so that she could look at her husband. When he answered, she needed to see his face. Her eyes felt swollen and gritty, and she was sure that she looked a fright, but this was too important to hide away from. Alex's face was serious, and at least he didn't seem repulsed by her tear-stained face.
"Absolutely. I'll send a note to him first thing tomorrow morning."
"Don't."
"Don't?" he echoed, looking confused.
Grace nodded. "I believe that you would, and that's enough."
Her throat tightened, even though there were other things she wanted to say... but she just couldn't yet. It didn't matter. The look on Alex's face was almost euphoric, like she'd just given him the greatest gift in the world. Swiftly, he turned her, pulling her face against his chest and cradling her there. One hand stroked up and down her back, the other reached down to cup her still burning bottom.
Strangely, even though it stung where his fingers pressed against her sore buttocks, it also made her feel safe. Loved. Closing her eyes, she nestled in. Exhausted, she found herself quickly dropping into sleep.