My hips roll, my arse grinding back against him, against the solid length of him that’s more than obvious against my thigh, although I can’t miss the fabric barrier between us.
But he doesn’t give me what I need. Instead, he continues those teasing circles down both of my legs.
His heat leaves me a beat before there’s a dull thud behind me.
“Turn around,” he commands, and I’m powerless but to do as he says.
My breath catches in my throat as I find him in the exact same position he was in before I fled his flat last week.
“Toby,” I breathe, my fingers twitching with my need to reach out for him, to keep the connection between us.
“I know this isn’t the time. But I need you to know that I mean every single word I say to you, Jodie.” Sincerity shines bright in his tired eyes, and everything inside me aches for me to give in to him.
But while my body might be on board, my head is another matter. And deep down, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever be able to get past what he did.
“I’ll do everything in my power to show you how much you mean to me. I know it’s crazy, I know you feel like you barely know me. But I need you, Demon, in a way I didn’t even know was possible.”
I hold his eyes as the water continues to rain down on me and nod. It’s all I can do.
“I just need a chance, Jodie. Just tell me you’ll let me explain properly one day.”
“O-okay,” I breathe, because I know I can’t deny him that chance. Especially after what he’s done for me tonight. How could I?
He saved me. He—
“You killed him,” I blurt, and whatever passes across my face with that statement forces him back to his feet and he cups my face in his hands.
“He touched you. He hurt you. I’d do the same to any man who ever laid an unwanted finger on you.”
“You killed him,” I repeat.
“Yeah, baby. My life is… different.”
A laugh rips from my lips at the word he chooses.
“But I won’t apologise for it, and I won’t make excuses for it. It’s who I am. It’s what I’ve been trained for my entire life. And tonight, it saved you. And I’ll never regret keeping you safe.”
“H-he was going to—”
“I know, baby. But he didn’t. You’re safe with me.”
“Am I?” I ask, unable to keep the question back.
“Always. I’ll never hurt you again, I fucking swear. You’re the best thing in my life.”
Leaning forward, he drops a kiss on the end of my nose before closing his eyes and resting his head against mine.
I feel so much in those few silent moments between us that it makes tears pool behind my eyelids. His fear for what could have happened tonight, his desperation, his regret, his pain.
“I’m gonna wash your hair.”
I want to tell him no, that he’s already done enough, but I can’t find the strength to say the words. Because above all else, what I really need now is his touch, his closeness, his strength.
Releasing me, he grabs my shampoo and sets about doing what he said he would, his fingers working wonders on my scalp as he massages me until my eyelids get heavy and I find myself leaning into him more and more.
“Come on, let’s get you out before you fall asleep on me,” he finally says softly, rinsing my conditioner out and turning the water off.
He wraps my body in a large towel before squeezing the excess water out of my hair with another.