JODIE
A groan rips from my lips as footsteps pad against the floor outside my room. A room also known as Sara’s studio.
It takes her quite a few more minutes to appear, and when she does, she’s smart enough to bring coffee with her.
“Morning,” she sings, as if it’s not fuck knows o’clock.
“Is it that time already?” I complain, dragging the duvet over my head as she flicks the light on.
“Sure is. Rise and shine, it’s a brand-new day.”
My chest squeezes painfully in my chest. She might see the new day as exciting new possibilities, but all I see is another day wasted.
It also marks a week since I learned the truth. And I’m still finding it hard to breathe with all the lies and betrayal hanging around me like a bad rash.
Something happened last night. When I finally crawled into bed sometime after midnight, I had loads of missed calls from both Mum and Bri. Too many for them just to be begging me to come home.
I didn’t respond.
While part of me might be desperate to know, there’s another part which isn’t.
Concern twists up my insides, wondering if Mum’s been evicted.
But then I remember the lies. The secrets.
I should just be glad that I’m away from it all. Not that I’m going to be able to run forever. I’m going to have to reenter my life soon, very soon, and I’m going to have to deal with all this shit and try to find a way forward that isn’t wallowing in self-pity in my friend’s studio.
Braving the light, I poke my head out of the sheet, finding Sara at her desk, waiting for her computer to wake up.
“Hey,” I croak.
“I’m sorry for waking you so early after your late night. But I’ve got a ton of work to do and orders to get ready.”
“You have nothing to apologise for. I’m the one who’s in your way. And I really shouldn’t have stayed up drinking with Jesse so late.”
“He’s a good drinking partner.”
“Too good,” I mutter, more than aware that my brain feels two sizes too big for my head right now.
Pushing myself so I’m sitting, I drag the duvet up as high as I can to keep the warmth and reach for my coffee, but as I do so, my phone lights up again.
“Argh,” I complain, finding a new message from Bri.
“What’s wrong?” Sara asks, spinning around on her chair.
“Something’s happened.”
“Something like what?”
“I don't know. My phone was blown up last night with missed calls. But let’s be honest, it can’t be anything good.”
“It might be,” she says with a shrug, her positive outlook on life making me want to crawl back under the sheets and never return. “You’ll never know if you don’t talk to anyone,” she says, her eyes narrowing.
Since the moment I turned up, she’s been saying the same thing. She doesn’t believe that my hiding in her house is doing me any good. And while she might be right, the vodka that Jesse keeps supplying me with sure seems to make a difference.
But as the days have passed, I know what she’s saying is true. As much as I might wish I could avoid the reality of everything, I know I can’t. Especially now if something has happened.
If Mum has been evicted, I can’t just abandon her. Yes, she lied, but that’s not all she is. I can’t allow one mistake to cover up the incredible job she’s done of being a mother all these years. And at the end of the day, she’s probably the least guilty in all of this. Jonas was a monster. If he wanted me hidden, then I’m not sure she ever would have had the power to do anything about it.