I stand exactly where I am for a beat, my eyes locked on Joanna’s before I spin on my heel, rearrange myself while hiding behind the car, and slip inside, ready to take on the weekend.
“Ready?” I ask after breathing in her sweet scent. She changed while she was inside and is no longer in the work uniform but instead a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie. Her face is now clear of the makeup that was staining her cheeks, and her hair is hanging damp and limp around her shoulders.
“Everything will be okay, whatever it is.”
She nods, curling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them as I pull out from the side of the road, the GPS already set to get us to our destination.
“I got sacked.”
“Holy shit, why?” A beat passes, but I don’t give her a chance to respond. “The security feed?” I ask.
A sad laugh falls from her lips. “I actually think I’d have preferred it to be that,” she confesses. “It’s stupid, I’m not even that bothered about the job. I think it was just the final straw, you know?”
I nod, understanding how she’s feeling. For weeks, I’ve been one step away from shattering into a million pieces. I’m just waiting for the final thing that’s going to make me snap.
“What happened?” I ask.
She sucks in a deep breath and her lips part, ready to explain, but her shoulders sag at the last minute and she shakes her head.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she mutters, her eyes drifting to the passing buildings outside the window. “I just want it all to go away. The pain, the loss, the grief.”
“I know, baby,” I say, reaching over and twisting my fingers with hers. “We’ve got a bit of a drive. Why don’t you sleep?” I suggest, because she’s not the only one who doesn’t want to talk.
Watching her break is harder than I thought it was going to be. Seeing her tears, her pain… It’s somehow managing to dig its way under the hard steel armour I’ve wrapped around myself in the past few months and is reminding me that deep down under it all, there is a decent human being.
It’s weird, being reminded of the person I used to be. Most days it feels like he never really existed and is just a figment of my imagination. A memory from a previous life.
She doesn’t close her eyes for the longest time as I drive us out of the city, the beat of the low music playing through the speakers filling the car.
Neither of us speaks, both too lost in our own heads. It’s comfortable, nice even. And that realisation freaks me out even more.
We must be about forty-five minutes into the journey before I glance over and find that she’s finally given in.
The frown has finally loosened from her brow, the pain in her eyes hidden.
I blow out a long breath, my grip on the wheel tightening as my feelings over this woman continue to war within me.
My eyes find my knuckles. Blood trickles down the back of my hand from where one of the deeper splits has opened up once more, and I think back to last night, and then to the man who is behind all of this.
That’s all it takes to remind me of my reasons for doing what I’m doing.
He caused this. He is making me do all this.
He has to pay.
* * *
Jodie doesn’t even stir when I pull up in front of the cabin we’re going to be staying in. I kill the engine, plunging us into silence as the darkness surrounds us. The soft outside lights of the cabin glow in the distance along with the moon that’s reflecting in the lake beyond. At some point during our journey, the rain stopped and the clouds parted, leaving a clear, star-filled sky for us. Couldn’t really ask for much more as romantic breaks go. If anyone could really call whatever this is that.
I stretch out my legs and roll my shoulders, my entire body aching with my need for sleep after what we endured last night.
“Jodie,” I say softly, rousing her. “We’re here.”
She uncurls from the seat and sits forward, blinking a few times as she comes to her senses.
“Toby,” she breathes, her voice nothing but awe as she stares at the illuminated cabin before us. “W-what are… where are… wow,” she finally settles on.
“You said you wanted to leave everything behind.”