Mum sighs heavily, as if Bri just requested she climb Kilimanjaro. But after a couple of seconds, she agrees.
“We can get through this, Mum. Together,” I assure her.
“We will, baby. We will.”
* * *
Brianna rushed home to grab everything she needed while I showered, so she didn’t have to go out wearing my clothes for the second weekend in a row. I put my music on loud as Mum requested and pretended it was a year ago, Joe was just living his life, Dad was away on business, and Mum was downstairs watching Strictly Come Dancing with a glass of wine.
With no alcohol in the house, I have little choice but to stick to Coke, but fuck it. Shit could most definitely be worse. They had been worse, only last night, actually.
Mum’s up. She’s left her room and made herself a coffee. I need to celebrate small miracles right now, and I’m taking that as a pretty fucking significant one.
I’m curling my hair when Bri finally reappears with bags weighing her down and a wide smile on her face.
“I brought supplies.”
“How is she?” I ask, ignoring her comment, knowing she just passed Mum.
“Watching TV. She’s going to be okay, Jojo.” She smiles at me encouragingly, but her words don’t lessen my worry at all.
Right now, she might look like she’s coping. But what about in two hours, after we’ve left?
Grief is a fragile, unrelenting thing that drags you into its dark clutches when you least expect it. I should know, it’s been happening to me for weeks now.
While I might have been able to keep plastering a smile on my face, under the surface, I’m hurting like I’ve never experienced before. I’m just not letting everyone see for fear it’ll eventually lead me down the same road Mum is currently on.
I can’t allow that. Dad and Joe wouldn’t have wanted it, and I need to do this for them. I need to live. For them.
“Okay, so I grabbed these,” she says, holding up some bottles of cocktail mixes. “I know they’re not much, but I thought it would be rude having hard liquor while your mum is trying.”
I nod at her, thankful that she cares about my mum as if she were her own. It’s understandable, seeing as her own mother is a useless piece of shit I’m ashamed to call an auntie.
“And I got snacks. No getting wasted too early tonight. I think that boy of yours might just have plans.”
I groan, dropping my head into my hands at the reminder of what went down earlier.
“I can’t believe I let him do that, Bri,” I mutter into my palms.
“It was hot, and I only got there at the end. What I want to know is… how did you end up bent over that counter with that god behind you in the first place? Where the hell was Matt?”
“He’s going to fire me, Bri. How I got into that position isn’t the biggest issue right now.”
“Girl, you have nothing to worry about with Matt.”
I spin around so fast on my stool that I nearly fall off.
“Bri, tell me you haven’t,” I beg.
She winces, guilt written all over her face.
“Um… about that.”
“You fucked my boss? Seriously? When?”
A few months ago when you were sick. I came to meet you, but obviously you weren’t there. He was… one thing led to another. That chair in his office, though… good things can happen on that.”
“Oh my God. Bri, you’re a whore.”