But Luis and Ram’s need to topple the Cirillo empire ran deeper than I ever could have imagined.
I never wanted to hurt you, Emmie. But I screwed up, I tried taking the easy way out.
I promise you, I’m going to do my time here. I already feel better than I have in years, and then I’m going to restart my life. I’d love to have you in it. Theo too, if you can forgive me. But I also understand you might not be able to, or even want to. And that’s okay.
All I want is the best for you, and if that means I need to be out of your life then so be it.
I love you, Emmie, and I hope they’re giving you the world, because you deserve it and then some.
All my love,
Mum x
Big, fat, ugly tears slide down my cheeks as I stare at Mum’s words, the pain of the past ripping through me like a tornado.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter to myself, wiping my face with the backs of my hands.
The urge to grab some paper and reply is huge, but I force myself to lock it down.
Just like I’ve enforced taking things slow with Theo, something tells me that it’s going to take even more time to discover a healthy relationship with Mum. Too many years have passed, filled with hurt and pain.
She made a mistake, trusted the wrong people. I get that. I even understand her desperation for more. But to be manipulated by a snake like Luis when she knew that ultimately I would pay the price? That’s going to take a while to digest.
When I look back at everything that’s happened because of her desperate decisions, I realise just how much worse it could have been. The fact that I’m still breathing after she stole from Damien and sold her soul to the devil is a freaking miracle. And I have every reason to believe that if I weren’t a part of the Family by blood, then I’d no longer exist. Mum either.
It’s a sobering thought, and one that almost makes me grateful for everything I have suffered through. I’m still here. I’m still fighting. And the rightful leaders are beginning to emerge.
Once my tears have subsided, I reach for my phone, finding a message that came through unnoticed a while ago.
His Lordship: Dad’s called me in. Talk later. Love you. x
A smile curls at my lips and a lightness washes through me.
If all of the pain and heartache that came before was all in a quest to lead me to Theo, then I’m pretty sure it might have all just been worth it. Because he’s everything.
Everything I didn’t know I needed.
My deviant knight who lets the world see his impenetrable shell, but for some reason chose me to see the soft, caring, lovable guy beneath.
Emmie: Okay, I’ll be waiting…
His Lordship: I wish I could hold you.
A laugh falls from my lips as I look at the camera and blow him a kiss.
Emmie: All weekend. I’m okay, I promise. Just dealing with some ghosts.
His Lordship: You’ve got this, babe. There isn’t anything my girl can’t handle.
I lower my phone with a wide smile on my face.
Closing down our conversation, I find another number, one I’ve not rung in a long time.
I hesitate for a beat but quickly pull up my big girl panties and hit call.
“Emmie,” a deep growl rumbles down the line. Not so long ago, the timbre would have done things to me. But not now. That was the old me.
“Archer,” I sigh. “How are you doing?” I ask, refusing to spill the I’m-sorry-for-your-loss bullshit. He hated his brother. I hated his brother. I’m pretty sure no one is actually sorry he’s gone.