A sad and bitter laugh falls from her lips.
“Fuck, I’m pathetic.”
She throws her arm over her eyes, blocking the world out.
“Missing your mum isn’t pathetic,” I tell her.
“She’s a shit mum. She doesn’t deserve for me to miss her.”
“Easier said than done though, huh?”
“What would you know about it? Your mum’s amazing.”
I suck in a quick breath at the reminder that they’ve met. That she’s spent time with those closest to me, and for some fucking reason, they all fucking love her. After one meeting.
“Yeah,” I admit. “She is, despite everything Dad’s put her through.”
“Oh?”
“It’s nothing major or scandalous like Toby and Stella’s parents. But being married to the boss comes with certain challenges.”
“I can only imagine.”
Can you?
“Tell me about your mum,” I say, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, hoping that it’s the encouragement she needs to open up.
Her lips part to respond, but before any words come out, she closes them again. She moves her arm and her eyes find mine.
“Why? Why do you care?”
I shrug. “No reason. But I’m here and willing to listen.”
A deep frown forms between her brows at my response.
She doesn’t trust me, and I don’t blame her. But I’m willing to put in some work to change that.
“I don’t know what I can tell you that you probably haven’t already guessed. You know where I grew up. You must know what it’s like there.”
“I do,” I agree.
“My life was dodging dealers, pimps and everything in between. The opposite of your privileged life.
“I’ve had weeks where I’ve survived on mouldy bread and questionably cloudy water. Mum used to go days without showing her face, even when I was too young to be left alone.”
“Why didn’t your dad take you away?”
“He didn’t know. The thing about my mum is that she’s a master at hiding what a fuck-up she is. Dad knew it was shit, but she never allowed him to see the truth.”
“You could have told him.”
“You think she didn’t have contingencies in place?” She rolls her eyes so hard it must hurt.
“She blackmailed you?” I guess.
“Pretty much. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. I’ve always hated her, but she’s my mum, you know? It’s… it’s fucked up. But I didn’t want to lose her, no matter how shit she made my life.
“I always hoped she’d get better. She promised me this incredible future where she’d get a good job, get us out of hell. But obviously, it was all bullshit.