I have the power to cause the exact same pain that was forced on my family.
I could have done it by now. I could have done it that first night.
I had the gun right there.
I could have done it tonight while I had that knife to her throat. I could have done it and left her there for her father to find in hours or even a day’s time. Her lifeless body in the middle of a muddy graveyard. He wouldn’t have seen it coming, because he thinks his innocent little princess is safe with us. The boss may have given the order for us to protect her, but he has no clue about the ideas that have been running around my head for years when it comes to the most precious person in his life.
I lie there, staring at the ceiling, running the events of the day around my head. Every muscle in my body is locked tight as I continue to wonder if I should have just sunk inside her, if that would have helped settle something inside me. As it is, I’m lying here hard as fucking nails, replaying having her pinned beneath me over and over.
I have no idea what time I eventually pass out, but when I wake up the next morning, my head is pounding from the Jack on an empty stomach and my fitful sleep that was full of twisted, dirty dreams of Stella in that graveyard.
Reaching over to the bedside table, I feel around until I touch my phone.
Waking it up, I wince as I stare at the bright screen, but the second the image clears I bolt upright, my heart jumping into my throat.
“Holy shit,” I breathe, my eyes locked on Stella’s face.
In the hard light of day, the image I took of her hits entirely differently.
Fuck, she’s beautiful.
Her hands and forearms are almost fully submerged in water. Her face is splattered with mud, her makeup smeared down her face, her lips full, almost as if we’d just spent the last half an hour kissing. Biting down on my bottom lip, my mouth waters as I remember what it was like doing just that.
Falling back onto my bed, I keep the image in front of me as I wrap my fingers around my length.
The sound of her moan as I teased her with my knife and sucked her nipple into my mouth fills my ears as I jack myself off, wishing like hell I was about to come over her perfect tits once more.
With my eyes locked on the second-best thing, I groan as my release hits me in embarrassingly short minutes.
“Seb, get your arse out of bed. We’ve got practice,” Theo calls, pounding his fist on my door and scaring the shit out of me.
“Fuck off,” I bark, pressing my head back into the pillow.
“No can do. You’ve got ten minutes or I’ll go get the kids.”
I groan. It wouldn’t be the first time Theo let his little brother and sister in here to jump on me until I had no choice but to get out of bed if I ever wanted to have kids of my own one day. I can’t imagine he told them to come in here and step on my junk at every opportunity, but that’s pretty much how it went.
“You wouldn’t want them seeing me right now.”
“Stop jerking off, Seb. It’ll fall off eventually.”
His footsteps sound out as he leaves me to it. “Takes one to know one, wanker,” I shout loudly enough to ensure he hears it.
I clean up before pulling on a pair of sweats and a Knight’s Ridge t-shirt, grab my bags from the side, and swing the door open.
“Let’s go then,” I demand as I pad through the house. “You owe me a coffee on the way.”
“How’d you figure that?” he mutters, reaching for his own bags and moving toward the door.
“You cock-blocked me.”
“It doesn’t count if it’s with your own hand, dickhead.”
“Sure it does. Your voice made me lose my high.”
“Stop talking.”
“I was right at that moment. You know it, the point of no return, and then your voice just… killed it,” I say, fighting a smirk.