With a sigh, I knelt down in front of her and hugged her to my chest as my hands stroked over her fur while Enzo watched us with a thoughtful look on his face. Something about her soothed me, distracted me from the impulses that consumed me so thoroughly. “Why don't you come sit, Baby Girl? They'll be here soon. Dinner's covered, so you just need to come and relax. They'll love you."
Pressing a kiss to the top of Rebel's head, I stood and made my way to the couch to sit next to him. He wrapped his arm around me, rubbing the tension in my shoulder with his massive hand. "I can't believe you're making me do this,” I said as I groaned into his side. “You realize we've known each other for less than a week, right? It is way too soon to be doing the meet the family thing."
"You'd be a mess whether I introduced you today or in six months. Besides, we'll be married by then. I think it'd be weird for you to meet my family at our wedding."
"Enzo!" I shrieked, turning to punch him in the arm. He chuckled, clutching it like the dramatic baby men tended to be when it served their purpose. "We will not be married in six months. Who said I even believe in marriage?"
He stilled, pursing his lips as if the thought hadn't occurred to him. I didn't not agree with marriage, but that was one of those conversations couples needed to have before they threw out the discussions about fucking marriage. We'd never talked about kids or anything of a serious nature, and I supposed I shouldn't be surprised. Given that Bellandi men tended to make those decisions for their women.
I'd castrate him.
"My mother wants grandchildren," he murmured. "She'll make that very clear tonight, I'm sure."
"Do you not want kids?" I asked, waiting on the edge of my seat for his answer. While I didn't want kids right at that moment, the impossibility of them in the future might be a deal breaker for me.
The fact that it might have been a deal breaker felt significant, as
if I was hoping for a future to our relationship despite his lack of desire to sleep with me. I needed to get my shit together, but I didn’t know how to do that when I didn’t actually want to.
"Eventually," he said, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'd like to have you to myself for a while first though, and I don't like the idea of bringing a baby into the world while we're fighting a war on the streets. Everything is too uncertain and dangerous right now." He paused, studying me intently before he sighed. "If I'd been a better man, I would have stayed away from you and not pursued a relationship. Claiming you as mine only put a bigger target on your back."
"Yes well, you're obviously a very bad man," I scolded, rolling my eyes at his ridiculous self-criticism. I knew the Bellandis weren't exactly on the up-and-up and that most would be classified as criminals by most. But being best friends with Ivory and getting to know them, I wouldn't say they were terrible humans either.
It was an odd juxtaposition. Criminal, but not evil.
Even if they did ally with men I suspected were the outright devil.
"Just tell my mother we'll have kids when we're ready. Better yet, let me tell her that. She's used to me dismissing her nosiness." I huffed a laugh, leaning into his chest and drawing in a deep breath of him. With the scent of him filling my lungs, tension faded from my body until I relaxed. Surrounded by him was my favorite place to be lately. Although I knew it was the most dangerous for my heart.
Enzo had worked his way in slowly like a disease, claiming every nook of the beating muscle in my chest for himself until I couldn’t deny my feelings for him anymore. I couldn’t resist the need to explore what grew between us no matter how hard I tried. He was probably the biggest risk I’d ever take, but I knew without a doubt I would regret not taking the leap with him for the rest of my life. I just had to hope it was worth it.
As I allowed myself to really feel the comfort coming from him to me, Rebel's presence settled in at our feet. A silent sentry standing guard and keeping my anxiety at a distance while I stroked her with my foot. "I wonder about her sometimes," Enzo murmured, reaching down a hand to scratch behind her ears. "She draws you out of your head when you get caught up in a behavior."
Glancing down to her, I watched those too wise eyes settle on me. "She does," I agreed as I considered it. It hadn't occurred to me before, since I tended to be distracted in those moments. But since we'd found her, she constantly drew me away from my pacing and nervous energy. "When you had your episode, she was right there too."
Enzo nodded his agreement. "She's either very intuitive or she was trained to do it at some point."
"Like a therapy dog?"
"I can't say that I have any experience with them, but I don't think it's normal dog behavior to be so intuitive to our needs. It might be worth looking into. I'm just stuck on the fact that of all the dogs in the world needing a home, we stumbled onto the perfect dog for us," he said, grabbing me around the waist and swinging me over until I straddled him. Looking down into stunning hazel eyes, I fought that throbbing need to run that always seemed to lurk just beneath the surface. It had never failed me before, but Enzo made me want to take the leap and trust him.
His fingers trailed over my hip, catching the hem of my shirt and dragging it up until cool air kissed my stomach. With his thumbs tickling the quivering muscles of my abs, I let my hair fall in a curtain around us and block everything else out. "I keep thinking about that lap dance. About the way your body moved," he whispered, pressing his thumbs into the bones at my hip and further distracting me from the conversation about Rebel. "What it would be like without so many clothes."
"You would know if you hadn't forbidden me from taking them off," I giggled, leaning in to touch my lips to his softly. "It's just a body. Who cares who sees it as long as no one else is allowed to touch it?"
"You'd be comfortable being naked around other men?" His voice deepened as I smiled at him.
"Maybe not completely naked," I admitted. "But I've just never felt the need to hide my skin. I'm comfortable with my body, and it's no different than any other woman's. I'm comfortable in my sexuality."
"I know," he said. "The confidence is sexy."
"Well you can't expect me to be that way only with you. I am the way I am, Enzo. I'm never going to give a shit that people watch me. I'll never stop being over the top and dancing to my own music. It's just who I am," I sighed, expecting the turn. "You can't expect me to change because you don't want anyone to look at me."
"I like you a little wild. I love that you can't be tamed or controlled. My only request is that I get to be there with you. I don't want you doing outrageous things when I'm not there to claim you and chase off the perverts. Be wild, Sadie. Just be wild with me to keep you safe while you do it." It was the first time I’d had a conversation with a man who didn’t try to keep me from my more adventurous tendencies outright. His words struck me differently, like he didn’t want to control me so much as protect me.
"Sooo, can I dance on a pole at Tease?" I knew the question pushed his limits, but he dropped his head to his chest and chuckled instead of getting angry with my insistence.
"Maybe someday, but your first dance is mine and mine alone. Fair?"