“I’m sure it just slipped his mind, Calla. He isn’t used to having to consider other people when he leaves,” he said to reassure me.
“I would think leaving me sleeping alone in a bed would be a pretty obvious reminder,” I whispered, making my way back up the stairs. After checking on the kids one last time to reassure myself that t
hey were still there, I went to our bedroom and grabbed my phone off the nightstand.
I considered not calling, wondering if he’d say anything about it in the morning or just try to pretend he hadn’t left me in the middle of the night. I would never sleep, never get past the anxious, uncertain frenzy of energy that whipped through me like a storm waiting to explode. With that, I dialed the number he’d programmed into my phone, realizing it was the first time I’d ever used it.
I lived with him. Shared his bed.
And I’d never spoken to him on the phone or even texted him.
He answered after a couple rings, his voice ringing in my ears. “Sunshine? What’s wrong?”
“You weren’t in bed,” I answered with a tremble to my lips. There was a muffled grunt in the background, and Matteo’s familiar voice barked out an order to be quiet. I swallowed, but the lack of sounds in the background did nothing to calm the panic in me. Were they quieting a woman? A man they intended to kill? “Where are you?”
“Working,” Ryker said firmly. “You don’t want the details, Tesoro.”
“That’s a convenient cover,” I hissed.
The bastard chuckled. “While it is adorable that you’re jealous, I promise you I’m working. I can make him squeal, if that would reassure you. At any rate, if I wanted to get my rocks off, I wouldn’t do it with my boss.”
“Don’t,” I snapped. “This all could have been avoided if you’d just told me you were leaving. I woke up, and you were gone. I worried.”
“I didn’t think you’d care, Sunshine,” he murmured. The reminder of the revelation of the night before was like a shot of adrenaline to my heart.
He’d stalked me.
“I shouldn’t,” I whispered back. Even still that he would just slip out in the middle of the night felt wrong. It made me feel like less, nothing but a convenience. Even if that was what I was to Ryker, he took great efforts to make it so I never felt that way.
As much as I hated the stalking and the betrayal of my trust that it represented, I couldn’t deny that it contributed to making me feel like I was the center of someone’s universe.
I’d never understand what it must have been like to want someone so desperately that blurring the lines of right and wrong seemed acceptable.
Though, admittedly, those lines didn’t seem to exist for my serial killing stalker.
“You shouldn’t, but you do. More than you’ve even realized yet. I’ll be home as soon as I can, Sunshine. Go back to sleep.” Ryker hung up abruptly, not giving me a chance to respond to his last revelation.
???
It had been longer than I could remember since I'd been on a date.
So long it was depressing to think about, and having to put on makeup reminded me of just how long it had been since I'd bothered with anything of the sort. The champagne dress that clung to me felt like a shock, and I couldn't believe how well it fit.
I hadn't worn it since before Axel was born, but I supposed I did enough yoga to maintain the same figure. I hated the way the thin straps on my shoulders left my arms exposed. In the delicacy of the dress they seemed just a little too muscular. Too toned.
I preferred my tank tops and yoga pants where they looked right at home.
I slipped on my jacket, feeling grateful for the coverage it offered, even if I knew I wouldn't be able to have it at the restaurant.
I could hear my father and Ryker chatting downstairs, so with one last glance in the mirror I left the bedroom. As I made my way down the stairs, Ryker's eyes came to me even as he continued talking to my father quietly. There was warmth in his eyes and a mild amount of surprise lingered there. I knew he couldn't see much, that the only part of me he could see was my face and the black jacket draped over my shoulders.
When I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs, Ryker's eyes trailed up my bare legs where my black pumps showcased every muscle in my calves. I missed the way my body had been softer, more feminine, before I'd started teaching yoga and taken the dive into being more fit to do it for hours every day. The change felt striking, but there was no mistaking the fact that Ryker didn't mind it. He looked at me like he'd desire my body no matter how it looked, and even though I knew that had to be a fallacy, it was an appealing one.
"You look beautiful," he whispered, stepping forward to touch his lips to mine gently since my father watched on.
"Calla Lily," my father murmured as emotion made his voice crack. "You look so much like your mother." My heart stuttered in my chest, because I knew that she would have been just a year older than I was when she died.
It was a sobering thought. A woman under thirty here one moment and then gone the next. Life was too short to spend it living someone else's life.