It didn't take long to recognize the store, the strollers in the window made it obvious which one would be for a baby. Looking at the little bump forming, I wondered if it wasn't too early. Seeming to sense my question, she turned to me with a sheepish grin. "I'm a little overexcited. There's nothing I've ever wanted more than to be a mother."
"It makes sense," I admitted. "Your father never would have let you be anything else, I imagine."
"There's that," she agreed, but the little smile on her face took off the sting that should have accompanied her words. "But, even still, I didn't lay in bed thinking about being a model or an astronaut. I laid there and I thought about my mother. How much I missed her, and how much I wanted to give my kids everything I'd missed out on. That was everything I wanted, and I told myself I could live with an unhappy marriage if I had that. Having a happy marriage and a baby on the way is like a dream come true." We strolled through the store, and I watched as she paused to run her hands along the wood of a white crib. The curved back hinted at a vintage design, but it was clearly new and modern in all other ways. I wanted to run my fingers along the curves with her when her eyes glazed over. "This reminds me of the crib I had. I've seen pictures."
"I think it's probably perfect then," I sighed, and she glanced down the aisle to look at the others in the line before she nodded with tears in her eyes.
"Mom had a glider. The fabric was this pale green on the seat. Do you think I'd be able to find one like it?" The gliders were much more comfortable looking and seemed more like recliners than I imagined her mother's must have been, but I swore if we couldn't find one in store, I'd find one and get my mother to help me fix it up. She deserved to have everything she dreamed of, and I wanted to help give it to her.
"I don't see one here, but we'll keep looking. I promise." It amazed me how quickly I adopted Lino's family as my own, when I'd always been content to try and keep them on the fringes of my heart. Like I'd known that I could never have them fully even though I wanted them. "Do you know what you're having?" I asked to try and alleviate the suddenly tense mood.
"A girl," she said. "The early blood test said it's a girl. I couldn't wait to find out," she laughed. I took her hand, darting to the baby clothes that hung from the displays in the center of the store. The little purple dress that had caught my attention seemed to beckon me, and I held it up for her.
"It's perfect. You should buy it; in case you have a girl." The words made my stomach clench as I looked down at the fabric, but I shook my head.
"I can't start shopping for clothes before I'm even pregnant. It's perfect for your little cupcake though." She took it, and the way her fingers clenched the fabric told me it was the first time she'd allowed herself to shop for clothes. The first time she'd let herself feel the reality of her pregnancy in such a tangible way.
"Thank you for sharing this with me." I reached out a hand, touching the little belly that seemed to beg me to touch it constantly.
"Thank you for finally letting me in." I swallowed, sucking back the tears as I realized just how many people I'd kept at arm's length. How alone I'd felt because of my own walls.
I'd never been alone.
I'd just been too blind to see it.
Forty-Four
Lino
I hated work. I'd always loved i
t but knowing that Samara and my sister were out shopping on a Saturday while I got stuck working made me anxious. Enzo picked up on it. Of course, the pain in my ass.
"You're like a little slacker now," he poked me in the arm. "Always wanting to be home with the wife."
"I'm too old for this shit. I don't want to work weekends, and soon I won't have to." I shrugged, nodding my head at the manager-in-training. He came around quickly, catching on to the fact that I wanted him to take on tasks I never would have done. He needed to keep busy, and I would still keep track of most of the oversight stuff from home. I just needed someone to be in charge in the evenings.
I knew I'd still be busy, what with Matteo already eyeing a luxury apartment building that he wanted to buy. I knew nothing about being a landlord, but he relied on me to figure it out as I went. So I would.
It didn't stop me from wishing I could be home, from wishing I could convince Samara to quit her job once she was pregnant so that I could work from home and spend time with my family. My father would lose his shit if he knew I put family before the business.
It only tempted me more.
"Seriously, what has that woman done to you?" Enzo laughed, clapping me on the back. "Never seen you so distracted."
"That's because I've never had that woman waiting for me," I grinned at him, not even bothering to hide the happiness that flooded me.
His elbow in my gut made me wince, but I glanced down to the bar below. "Look!" he hissed, his voice going low like a gossiping girl. I leaned over the rail, glancing down to see Scar taking a seat at the bar. It wasn't uncommon for him to come in for a drink during the day on his occasional day off when Ivory stayed at the Estate, but he usually came up and hung out with us while we worked.
Sitting at the bar never happened.
Sitting next to a woman never happened.
I couldn't get a good look at her, no matter how I tried, her back stayed to the VIP level. But there was no mistaking the way she radiated pure class in a pencil skirt and blouse, with raven hair that slid down to her waist. Scar bought her a drink, turning his undivided attention to the woman.
"Who do you think that is?" Enzo asked me.
I shrugged, even if something about her slender build seemed familiar. I couldn't place her, try as I might. Not without the face.