30
Isa
Hugo watched from the sidelines as Joaquin centered himself in the small clearing on the opposite end of the hillside. The village and Rafe's house were tucked away on the opposite side and we were off the beaten path that the people from the town walked or drove to get to the church where we'd gotten married.
The sea was visible in the distance through the trees, but for the most part we were tucked away safely. I still hadn’t been brave enough to take Regina up on her offer to take me through the village and introduce me to the people who called the island home. I hadn’t yet forgiven them for allowing Rafe to do as he pleased with me and not daring to intervene.
Even if I knew it was illogical to expect such a thing.
With leggings and a tank top to cover my skin, I stared at Joaquin as he stripped off his sneakers.
"Rafe is going to murder you when he finds out, and hewillfind out," Hugo scolded his older brother. "Have you lost your damn mind?"
"He won't murder me. Isa won't allow it," Joaquin said with a brittle smile that said just how little he believed that to be true.
Hugo only rolled his eyes. "Okay, so he won't kill you. He'll just beat the fucking shit out of you. What could have been worth this?"
Joaquin winked at me, refusing to tell Hugo the truth that I'd promised to speak to him only in return for this very moment. "We just have to make it count while we have time," he said, nodding at me.
I agreed silently, hoping that my distraction the night before would keep Rafael focused onotherrebellions. Maybe he'd be so focused on punishing me for touching myself that he'd overlook the more serious transgression that he would hate with every fiber of his being.
Exhaustion already made my limbs feel heavy with the exertion of the day.
When Joaquin said he meant to make the day count, I hadn't realized he meant to work me until I couldn't walk. But the feedback he gave me would be valuable if it ever came to a point where I needed to protect myself. I was small, and most men were massive compared to me, especially the men that seemed to surround Rafael.
The man who he'd seen outsideMoonin Ibiza hadn't been small either, though Rafael towered over him.
Using my size to my advantage was in my best interest. Playing on the expectations that I would be nothing but a tiny girl with no ability or interest in fighting. Jabs to the dick, the heel of my palm into the end of a person's nose and thrusting up, and the side of my hand to the edge of a man's neck.
All the ways I could take a man to his knees long enough to escape. What I would do from there, I didn't know. But I guessed the hope was that someone would be there to help me after that was done.
"Gouge out his eyes if you can," Joaquin said, taking my hand in his grip. Hugo flinched every time Joaquin touched me, as if the point would work against him every single time he did it. He bent two fingers at the middle knuckle, tucking them together and guiding them to the right side of his nose. "Strike with all the force you have, and you'll blind them. Temporary or permanent, that will give you a huge advantage through the rest of the fight and will probably give you the opportunity to get away. Objects are even better. If you can puncture the eye itself, you'll stand a chance at killing them."
I twisted my body back, pulling my hand away and practicing the spacing between my fingers. "One eye at a time?" I asked, trying to spread my fingers wide enough that I could take out both at once.
"You'll get more force that way," he said, pushing them back together. I jabbed at his face, stopping just short of his eye. He blinked back at me, looking far too trusting as he looked to the sun in the sky. "We should get you back before Regina sends out a search party."
"Okay," I agreed. Even though I wanted to keep going, my body ached with the tiredness from the day. I didn't have an active lifestyle in Chicago, and I hadn't done much to change that since coming to Spain. We turned and made our way back for the house, walking through the clearing as I thought over the reality of the last twenty-four hours.
Rafe was gone from the island. He wasn't in my way, and Joaquin had shown he was willing to defy Rafael in some ways.
Yet I hadn't once asked him to take me off the island or to help me escape. I should have wanted my freedom more than anything, but I didn't. He'd taken my choices and left me with no other option but to do what he wanted. But there was something amazing about not being responsible for once.
There was something addictive about having someone else make the hard choices for me, and that terrified me.
Because if I liked it, it was never going to stop.
How long could it really go on before Rafael crossed a line?
Hadn't he already?
My bones hurt. It didn't seem like it should be possible for a person's bones to hurt, but mine throbbed under my skin. The muscles clenched and contracted as I shifted my body in the bathtub of our bedroom to try to soothe my sore limbs. Regina didn't expect Rafael home until the next day, given the nature of his business in Rome, apparently, but I needed to be able to move by the time he returned.
If I couldn't walk, he would know I'd donesomethingwrong. He'd know that there was a secret I kept, and I knew the moment he started asking questions would be when he got the answers I so desperately wanted to keep from him for as long as possible.
If I had to be punished, I wanted to get more than one lesson out of it first.
I sighed, leaning my back against the tub fully and letting the water glide over my skin. It had long since cooled down from the scorching hot that I'd filled it with, but I couldn't bring myself to move.