“Oh, honey. It’s okay that you couldn’t get in the water with him. If he didn’t understand that then it’s his issue and not yours,” Chloe said, the voices in the background quieting as she separated herself from whatever they were doing.
“I got in the water,” I whispered, my voice hitching as I said the words. Tears stung my eyes with the confession, unable to believe them even though I’d been there. “He taught me how to swim.”
“Wait, what?” Chloe asked, her voice rising an octave. “After all the years I’ve tried to get you in the water, he comes along and a few days and you’re magically cured of it? He must have a really good dick.”
I laughed, despite how uncomfortable it made me feel for Chloe to talk about Rafe’s cock. That part of him felt like it was mine, not something that any other woman needed to concern herself with.
Even my best friend.
“Well he didn’t give me much choice,” I said, needing someone to reassure me that what he’d done hadn’t been in my head. That something had been innately wrong with his threats and the pressure he’d put on me to choose between a twisted chase and getting in the water.
Part of me wanted to brush it off, to assume I’d read too much into his words and the scenario because of my own twisted desires and the way they consumed me. But the other part of me couldn’t help but hear his voice in my head, telling me he’d like it when I fought him.
“What do you mean?” Chloe asked.
“He surprised me. I didn’t know we were going there or I never would have agreed to it. You know that, and apparently he did too,” I sighed.
“So you felt obligated because you’d gone all that way? I’m sure he could have found something else for the two of you to do, Isa,” Chloe said softly. “But for what it’s worth, I’m glad he broke through and helped you with that.”
“I tried to leave,” I blurted suddenly, clenching my eyes closed as I said the words. “He wouldn’t let me. He said he’d chase me, Chloe. I don’t know if I’m just being weird, but he kind of scared me. Getting in the water was the less scary option and you know I don’t say that easily.” I twiddled with my fingers as silence hung between us.
“Do you think you’re in danger?” she asked, her voice carefully measured as she crafted the words. Even with me reaching out to her for advice, I couldn’t imagine it was an easy line to walk between being concerned and treading carefully because your best friend had feelings for a man she shouldn’t.
“No. I don’t think so. He didn’t give me the impression he’d hurt me,” I whispered, even if the words didn’t feel entirely true.
He might have, but I would have liked it and that was a worse admission that I wasn’t ready to make with my friend.
“So he just stopped you from leaving?” she asked. When I hummed my agreement, she continued on. “I’ll see what Hugo knows about the name. He’s been pretty quiet whenever he comes up, so I don’t think he knows much. But I’ll see what I can find out. You just be careful until then, okay?” she asked.
“Okay. Talk to you tomorrow,” I murmured, ending the call and leaving my phone on the coffee table as I made my way to the bathroom. I started the shower, determined to scald my skin until nothing remained of the traces of darkness coating my skin.
I’d likely confused Rafe with my mixed signals. The best way to keep his darkness at bay was to control my own.