I huffed in disbelief as I shook my head and fought back the surge of emotions within me. I'd been so fucking stupid to think he understood that my fear came from a place of trauma. From something not so easily overcome. Leaning into his space, I laid down the challenge I knew probably wasn't my smartest move.
But something in the cruel set of his eyes made me want to defy him.
Something in the excited parting of his lips told me he wanted that too.
"Fuck this," I snarled, turning on my heel and yanking my wrist out of his grip. Hiking my purse up on my shoulder, I strode down the road we'd entered in on and made for the main street. Once I had enough distance and found a safe place to settle, I'd call Hugo to come and get me.
But I'd be damned if I would get in that water with him.
"You don't want to walk away from me, Princesa," Rafe murmured at my back. The words crawled up my spine, insidious and menacing enough to halt me in my tracks and turned back to glare at him.
I swallowed my nerves, pushing down the budding fear that he brought with his carefully crafted words. Rafe could be terrifying when he wanted to be.
I just wasn't sure if the frightening face was the mask, or if it was what really waited beneath the charming demeanor he gave me in all the other moments.
"And why is that?" I asked, pressing my lips together and turning back around to hide the slight tremble in them. He was the kind of man my grandmother warned me about with her stories. The temptation and lure of evil spirits. as they resided in people who looked just like us.
But evil couldn't look like beauty carved in stone, could it? Even if it did explain why I burned when he touched me.
He stepped closer, until I felt the heat of his body at my back. His hand reached around me to grab my face and tilt it, so that I stared him in the eye with one of mine. "Because I'll chase you," he murmured, leaning down to touch his lips to my cheek in a slow brush of heat against my skin. His mouth slid up until his nose touched my hair, breathing me in deeply. He hummed just above my ear. "I think the real question is, what will I do when I catch you?"
I swallowed down the saliva in my mouth, clenching my eyes shut as I tried to think of an appropriate response to words like that.
What did one say, when the man she was falling head over heels in love with showed signs of being a monster?
"That isn't funny, Rafe," I whispered, stumbling over my own feet as he turned my body to face him. His hand gripped my hair harshly, tipping my head back until I met his unyielding gaze.
"Am I laughing, Princesa?" I shook my head slightly, wincing when his grip didn't relent. "I promise you, I am far scarier than whatever you think lurks in the fucking water."
He released me as suddenly as he'd grabbed me, taking a few steps away before he paused and looked back at where I stood, rooted to my spot and staring at him in horror. I looked to the road, watching as the man who stood guard puffed up his chest and stood a little taller.
It felt like I'd walked into a trap, and still didn't understand even the basics of what it would mean for me.
A cage without walls. A pressing force on my chest.
"Don't do it," Rafael warned me, drawing my attention back to him. He held out a hand, waiting for me to take it. It was a test, I realized, as he forced me to make a decision then and there. "I like it when you tell meno," he murmured, making my breath hitch in my lungs as he tilted his head to the side and studied me. "I think I'll like it when you fight me too, and so will you," he growled.
I swallowed, wishing I could deny the perverse part of me that craved everything he talked about. Iwantedhim to chase me.
I wanted him to catch me, and I wanted him to show me everything that I dreamt of in my most forbidden desires. But it couldn't happen. I could never give voice to that part of me, not if I wanted to have a chance of suppressing it when I went back home. So I stepped forward, watching his eyes soften with disappointment as I placed my hand in his.
My fear of water was nothing compared to my fear of my own body. If I had to choose to face one of them, it would be the water any day.
"Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of the things you want,mi princesa," Rafe murmured as he guided me over to the walkway to go around the back of the falls. The sound of rushing water from the falls nearly made me hyperventilate, so much stronger than the memory of the river sounds that were in my head.
"Nobody is making me feel ashamed of anything," I said in response, watching as the stairs spread out in front of me behind the rock face as we made our way up to the top. The pools curved around the back and through a narrow passage in the rocks, before opening up into a larger pool with two smaller waterfalls pouring into it. The sound was less deafening, less intense, as Rafe guided me down the steps to stand on the pathway beside the pool.
Large, flat rocks curved into the water as Rafe guided me toward them. He dropped the towels on one of them, pulling his shirt off over his head while I stood frozen and staring at the water. I couldn't bear to get any closer to it, but needed to know how deep it could get.
The blooming flowers and trees around the waterfall were stunning as I slid to my butt on the towel, curling my knees to my chest and hugging them as I tried to breathe. Rafe dropped to the rock next to me, grabbing sunscreen out of a nearby basket.
Everything with Rafe was planned and meticulous. I wondered how someone like me fit into those particular behaviors when I usually did things my own way.
Stripping my dress off over my head, he squirted sunscreen into his hands and applied it to my shoulders in a gentle, soothing massage that was so at odds with the dominating man he'd shown me only moments before that I let out a breathless chuckle. His hands worked wonders on my skin, even as I tried to deny the way he made me feel.
His touch was a sin, dangerous to everything I thought I knew about myself.
Rafe stripped off his shoes and stood, lowering himself into the water as he stayed by the edge and waited for me to follow. I shook my head, furrowing my brow as I watched him.
"I don't want to," I said.
"That's exactly why you need to. You can't stay afraid of water forever. You have to face that fear," he said. He held up a hand, waiting for me to take his again.
I swallowed, sliding my flip flops off my feet and getting up onto my knees so that I could look into the water. I sat back on my butt, scooting myself closer to the edge cautiously as Rafael waited with an extended hand. Then he asked a question that should have been laughable considering the stunt he'd pulled and his vague threats.
"Do you trust me?"
I wished I could say the answer was no.