10
Isa
My head throbbed as I forced my eyes open, squeezing them shut the moment the light trickling in through the window assaulted my vision. "Ugh," I groaned, touching a hand to my forehead. I finally sat myself up, wincing from the pounding in my skull and glancing around the room.
I didn't know where I was.
Plain white walls stared back at me, not a single decoration or poster so much as touching them. The bedding was nice, softer than what I had at home, but gave away nothing with the simple grey color. A single dresser was on the opposite end of the room, clothes piled on the top as if the owner hadn’t had time to put them away.
Touching my chest in a panic, I confirmed that all my clothes were still on. Nothing felt sore or violated. Heaving out a breath, I fought to search through my fuzzy memories of the night before.
The water, and my sister helpingdrugme, stood out amongst a sea of blurry shapes and faces I couldn't quite grasp.
A phantom in the night, tendrils of darkness threatening to wrap me in their embrace.
I swung my legs out of the bed, standing and looking around the floor for my shoes. I found them tucked neatly against the wall, standing and stumbling over my feet as vertigo crashed over me and threatened to send me to the floor.
A sharp knock came at the door, and I spun with a shocked gasp as Hugo opened it slowly. The unmistakable sense of relief struck me in the chest at the sight of him. I didn’t know him well enough to be relieved to see him, but the familiarity of him was a comfort in the sea of unrecognizable surroundings that threatened to swallow me whole. "You're awake. We were starting to worry."
"We?" I asked.
"My brothers and I," he said. "How are you feeling?"
"Like you saved me from being raped." I sighed, hanging my head between my hands. Hugo ducked out of the room, coming back with asealedbottle of water and a fresh bottle of aspirin.
I smiled my thanks as the seal cracked on the water when I twisted the cap off. Pressing in the cap on the aspirin as I twisted, I pulled the cotton from the bottle and shook out two. I downed the pills with a hard swallow of water.
"Don't worry about it. I don't like guys who take advantage of vulnerable girls," he said, reaching out to pat my hand as tears stung my eyes. I would never be able to thank him enough for intervening.
The thought of what might have happened to me if he hadn’t been there was one nightmare I never wanted to think about again.
"Want me to take you home? My brother can take his car so we get your Mom's car home, too."
"Thank you. That would be amazing. My family must be freaking out. I always get Odina and I home before they wake up."
"Ah," he said with a sheepish grin. "I had you unlock your cell last night." He gestured to the phone on the nightstand. "I texted her that you were okay and with Chloe."
"Thank you," I said, furrowing my brow as I read my text message to my mom. She'd replied with a thank you early this morning, saying she was off to work, but we'd talk when she got home. At least I wouldn't have to deal with the questions about why a boy brought me home if I was supposed to be with Chloe. Dad would be at work too, and my grandmother would already be at the community center.
"Come on," Hugo said, nodding to the living room. "You can meet my brothers officially. Joaquin helped me get you here last night."
I followed slowly as I thought about the blank face in my memory, almost dreading the moment I saw my phantom in the flesh. How could a real person ever compare to the fictional one I'd made up in my drugged state?
"This is Gabriel," Hugo said, pointing to a man in his mid-twenties. "And this is Joaquin. They came to stay with me while we're away from our parents so I wouldn't be all on my own in the windy city," he said with a mocking tease.
My eyes landed on Joaquin's cold brown stare, feeling none of the spark I'd assumed would be there, given the hazy memory I had of him and the way he’d made me feel the night before. Disappointment struck with the realization that it must have been the drugs in my system that made me imagine my reaction, and that he couldn’t have been the same man who watched me across the street earlier in the week.
That it was nothing but a coincidence, my mind playing tricks on me and creating connections where there were none.
"You mentioned," I said with a brittle smile as I turned to his brother. "Thank you, for helping me last night. I don't know what I would have done if—"
"No more trying to help your sister," Joaquin said with a sharp reprimand. "She wants to fuck up her own life? That's on her, but don't let her drag you down with her."
I sighed, nodding as the reality of it settled over me and knowing he was right. I'd spent far too many years trying to make up for Odina's selfishness and pull her back from the brink. I'd wasted my childhood being determined to make up for a single mistake that hadn't even been entirely mine.
The time had come to give up on saving someone who didn't want to be saved.
It should have felt like a part of my soul tearing in two. Isn't that what they said about twins? Instead, it felt like a breath of relief to not have to worry about her anymore.
To be fair, Joaquin's gaze on me proved to be a distraction from the things I didn'twantto feel. It would come later: the feeling of grief I'd never let myself have. For the bond that had ended when Odina and I were too young to understand the consequences of a simple accident.
I didn't understand why I felt nothing but disappointment meeting the man who'd helped me get out of a really bad situation. But the feeling was there nonetheless.
I missed a man who didn't exist.
How could you miss someone who didn't even have a face in your memory?