Frozen in place, I hear Jake mutter a curse from behind me, and Riley moves to comfort Hope, but she shakes her head. Penny sits motionless on the floor, still staring at the carpet. How did we not know?
“As soon as he was gone, I got in my car and drove back to Tennessee. Noah tried to call. So many times. I eventually blocked his number. I couldn’t go back. No matter how lonely I felt, I knew I’d never go back to that place. I didn’t want to face what happened. I didn’t want Noah to know.” Hope swipes at the tears streaming down her cheeks, but her voice remains surprisingly steady. “Not long after it happened, I found out I was pregnant. I couldn’t tell Noah. Because then I’d have to explain what happened. I didn’t love Noah, but I didn’t want to hurt him either. The truth… I didn’t want to lie to him, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. He can’t know.”
My god.
It’s not until Penny bursts into tears that I realize I’m crying my own. Reaching out, I lay my hand on Hope’s knee, trying to give her some measure of comfort. Riley moves forward, talking to Hope in hushed tones.
I’m glad she’s able to find words.
I’m still in shock.
Hope’s been suffering in silence for years.
My heart breaks for what she’s been through, but in the midst of my despair, a sudden clarity shines through the darkness.
This explains so much.
So fucking much.
I may not like it, but everything we’ve had to deal with from Hope over the years makes absolute fucking sense.
The drugs. The alcohol. The constant dark cloud that seems to hover over her.
Suddenly, I understand why sometimes it seems like she can’t bear to look at Mercy. That sense of detachment I feel from Hope when it comes to her daughter isn’t a figment of my imagination. I’ve always wondered if it was all in my head.
Hope experienced a trauma and Mercy is a living, breathing reminder.
My heart breaks all over again with the realization that Mercy might be the product of rape.
Like me.