She moved, revealing the compact curve of her belly, and the fear dropped into his belly like an unexploded bomb. The jumble of emotions which had been festering for an hour collided as he recalled the hope in her eyes. The last thing he wanted to do right now was escort her to the VIP charity event, to parade her in front of a load of other men like a trophy, an acquisition, even though that was exactly what she was supposed to be.
This arrangement had always had a sell-by date. How had he lost sight of that in the last month? After tonight he would have to re-establish the emotional distance he’d lost, or how else would he be able to control the deep pulse of regret, of longing, of loneliness which was already building when he was forced to let her go?
He cleared his throat and she swung round. The brief flicker of joy in her emerald eyes that he’d seen so many times in the past few weeks wrapped around his heart, scaring him even more.
‘Jack?’ she whispered, the sound raw. ‘Is it time to go?’
He made himself walk into the room, aware of her appreciative gaze gliding over his figure in the tailored tuxedo. ‘Yes, we should probably make a move,’ he said, trying to keep his tone impersonal, to cover the emotions churning inside him and stop himself from blurting out what he wanted to say to her.
This isn’t a marriage of convenience any more.
But even the thought of saying those words made him feel weak and pathetic and needy.
He placed a hand on her bare shoulder, felt her shudder of response. But, instead of placing his lips on the fluttering pulse in her collarbone, he slid his palm down her arm then lifted her fingers to his lips.
‘You look beautiful,’ he said as he kissed her knuckles and watched the leap of joy flicker again in her eyes at the inadequate compliment.
He straightened and let her hand drop, the fear gripping his throat again.
‘Jack, is something wrong?’ she asked, pressing her palms against the smooth satin of the dress, her gaze far too astute.
‘We need to go or we’ll be late,’ he said.
Her throat contracted as she swallowed. ‘Okay.’
He didn’t want to hurt her, but he knew he would, because he could never be the man she needed.