“Is this real? Are you really here in Minnesota right now?” I run my fingers along his cheek and down his neck. We’re lying in a mess of sheets on my bed an hour later, still clinging to each other, too afraid to let go. I gaze at him, scanning every inch of his face, taking him in. He looks so different. His eyes are less haunted now, but there’s still a certain depth to them, like he knows what it feels like to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. I could cry in gratitude that he’s not suffering like he was.
“It’s real. I’m here,” he whispers.
“Did you really fly all the way here just for me?” I ask, and then another thought dawns on me. “What is it with people flying all the way across the country to surprise me, anyway?”
He chuckles. “Obviously, you’re worth flying across the country for. You’re worth it all, Mia. I mean, I didn’t just get help for you… I knew I needed it, and I couldn’t live like that anymore. But I was sure as hell praying that you’d be willing to take me back once I did.”
“I couldn’t stay away from you if I tried… the past few months have been complete torture. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too.” He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. “And I’m okay with whatever you want to do with us. If you want to do a long distance thing until we figure out a more permanent solution, I’m good with that. Whatever you want to do. You’re it for me, Mia. I’m not letting you go again.”
I smile at him, surprisingly not feeling anxious about where we’ll go from here. “We’ll figure it out.” We spend several minutes lost in each other's eyes, silently taking everything in.
“So… will you tell me who Adam is now?”
He doesn’t even flinch at the mention of his name. He just nods, and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.
“I will. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I can’t promise that it’ll be easy for me to talk about, but I can promise that I’ll try. I’m working on that. I want to be able to communicate with you, Mia. I want to be good enough for you. I want to deserve you.”
I smile at him, and I take a deep breath. I don’t press about Adam, because now I know we have plenty of time for all of that. It just feels so good to be back in his arms. I know with certainty that he is where I belong. He’s my person, my home.
“Are you hungry?” I ask him. “I’ll make you some food.”
He nods. “Sure,” he says. “I’ll help you.” We climb out of bed, throw our clothes on, and head to the kitchen. John helps me make some scrambled eggs and bacon, handing me utensils, flipping the bacon, and placing the carton of eggs back in the fridge. I’m reminded that we make a good team in the kitchen, although I can’t help but wish I had some papaya to go with our meal. We stand, leaning against the kitchen counter across from each other and eat in silence, just staring at each other. You would think that seeing him in my apartment would make me imagine a life with him here, but it’s actually giving me the clarity that I need. I’m suddenly confident in what our next steps should be. I set my plate down and cross the room to wrap my arms around his waist and look up at him.
“Ask me again.”
His brows furrow together in confusion. “Ask you what?”
“Ask me to move in with you.” His smile grows wider in understanding. He sets his plate down, puts his arms around my back, and brings his mouth to my ear.
“Will you move in with me, Mia?” he whispers, sending a shiver down my spine. I squeeze him tighter, look up into his eyes and smile.
“You betcha.”
He grins and presses his lips to mine.