10
MIA
Apparently, John rendered my body useless, because I stand staring at the closed door for longer than a few seconds, completely frozen in place.
What just happened?
My mom clears her throat behind me, and I spin around, seeing both her and Paige watching me expectantly. Paige is fanning herself obnoxiously, and I manage to roll my eyes.
“Well, I think it’s time to call it a night,” Mom announces. “Tomorrow’s our last full day; we go home the day after that, so let’s get some good rest so we can enjoy tomorrow!”
I nod, coming back down to earth. “Yes, good idea.”
We retreat to our bedtime routines for the night. When I come into the room after brushing my teeth, Paige is sitting up in the bed, waiting for me. “What’s the matter, Mia? You look a little frazzled?” she teases.
“I’m just tired. The sun really took it out of me today.”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
Not wanting to field any more questions, I shut the lights off and crawl into bed. It doesn’t take us long to fall asleep.
* * *
The next day we make plans to head into town so I can show them around the cute little shops I’ve been frequenting. I wanted to let John off the hook, so I told them he had other plans for the day. We arrange for an Uber to come pick us up, and we leave without any sign of John in the main house. While in town, our first stop is obviously Julie’s. We grab some coffee drinks and a couple muffins. I introduce them to Hazel, who fills them in on the latest book she’s reading about jellyfish. Mom and Julie hit it off right away, chatting until our drinks are ready.
I take them to Up in the Clouds, although they don’t really appreciate books like I do, and I’m the only one who leaves with a book. We have lunch at a little tiki bar along the beach and then hit up a couple gift shops, where they pick out a few souvenirs to take back home.
On the ride back to the cottage, I feel proud of myself for managing to avoid any major questions about John. However, my satisfaction is short-lived, because John is doing yard work outside when the car pulls into the driveway, and Mom all but springs out of the car.
“John! Nice to see you. Would you like to join us for dinner tonight? It would be wonderful of you to show us that crab place you love so much.” John visibly tenses, and I see the struggle in his eyes as he contemplates what to say. My stomach clenches, and I try to come up with something to let him off the hook. I open my mouth, but John beats me to it.
“Sure.”
Sure?
Ugh, I feel terrible for roping him into doing something he doesn’t want to do—again. “Are you sure? If you’re busy, we totally understand…” I make eye contact with him and try to convey that he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. He just holds my stare and takes a deep breath.
“I’m sure. Let me take a shower and get cleaned up.” He starts gathering his tools, while Mom and Paige start walking towards the cottage.
“Great!” Mom says. “See you in a bit!”
I stay where I am because it’s suddenly necessary to get a read on what he’s thinking and make sure he’s okay with this. When Mom and Paige begin climbing the stairs of the cottage, I step closer to John.
“You don’t have to do this, you know. I can just tell them you forgot you had other plans.”
He looks at me. “It’s fine. They’re leaving tomorrow, right? This is the last chance to pretend we’re dating?” I nod. “Then let’s do it. I’ll meet you out here after I shower.” I’m still hesitant but agree and walk back to the cottage to get changed.
Forty-five minutes later, we meet John outside where he had backed his car out of the garage. My mom and Paige fill the car with chatter on the way into town, filling John in on the events of our day. When we arrive, John holds the door open for us as we pass by him into the bar. I find myself hoping he’ll touch my back again this time, and when he does, it makes my stomach flip. I give him a quick smile, and he visibly softens, almost as if my smile had an effect on him. That softness is short lived, though, because The Toasted Crab is absolutely packed, and I instantly worry this might be too much for John. Matt sees us from behind the bar and waves.
“Should we go outside and see if there are any tables available out there?” I suggest. I think John likes that suggestion, because he leads the way outside. My mom and Paige follow behind him, and I take up the rear. The doors to outside are right next to the bar, and as we pass by, I hear Matt call for me.
“Hey, Mia!” I turn towards him and step up to the bar, letting the rest of them go on without me.
“Hey, Matt. How’s it going?”
“Great, we’re slammed tonight, though. How the hell did you get John to come here on a Saturday? It’s the busiest night of the week. I don’t even ask him to do anything on the weekend anymore ‘cause it's an automatic hell no. You must have superpowers, girl.” My stomach sinks because last time we were here, it was a Tuesday and not nearly as crowded.
“Shoot, I hope it’s not too much for him,” I say with a wince. “I better go check on them. We’ll come say hi later, okay?”
“You better.” Matt smiles and gives his attention back to his customers. I turn just as the others are coming back inside.
“No luck,” Paige says, scanning the room for an open table. “Oh! Quick! Those people are leaving; hurry and grab that table!” She scoots around me and manages to grab one of the chairs, smiling proudly. I glance at John, and his face is drained of all color, and he looks like he’s about to be sick. I shoot him an apologetic glance and move to sit down. I resolve to make this dinner go as fast as it possibly can so he can get out of here. Mom sits next to Paige, and John sinks into the chair next to me. I put my hand on his thigh and squeeze lightly, trying to be reassuring. He looks down at my hand and then up to my eyes. His stress seems momentarily replaced with something else, and I’m suddenly aware that my hand is still on his leg, and maybe that’s exactly what I should be doing in front of my mom and Paige, but I also really don’t know if he’s okay with that. So I take my hand away and bring it to rest on my lap.
The hostess appears with menus. “Hey, guys! I’m so sorry, but we’re slammed and short staffed tonight, so anything you want to order, please do so at the bar, okay? We’ll bring any food you order out to you here.” We each take our menus and peruse them for a few minutes. Once everyone knows what they want, I offer to go place our order before John feels like he has to.
“I’ll come with,” Paige says, standing up. We walk up to the bar, and squeeze in between a couple stools. We eventually get Matt’s attention and he saunters over, eyeing Paige the entire time it takes to get to us.
“Mia, who’s your friend?” he asks while one corner of his mouth is turning up into a half smile.
“Matt, this is Paige. Paige, this is Matt.” Paige smiles politely and then starts rattling off our order, either completely oblivious to Matt’s stares or ignoring them all together. She tucks a strand of her shoulder-length brown hair behind her ear, and I watch in amusement as Matt follows her hand the entire time. I’m not surprised. My best friend is stunning. She has an olive skin tone that I would die for, and her hair is a rich chocolate brown shade that compliments her pretty green eyes. Guys hitting on her is nothing new, but it still makes me smile.
“You got it. Need anything else?”
“Nope, that should do it.”
“We’ll bring it over when it’s out.” He winks at her and turns around to enter our order. We start walking back to the table.
“I’m surprised he wasn’t full on drooling. Did you see the way he was looking at you?” I tease Paige. She rolls her eyes.
“Ugh. Shut up. Bartenders flirt with everybody; it’s part of their job.” We make it back to the table, and I slide back into my seat. The first thing I notice is John’s leg bouncing as he taps his foot against the floor. He’s rubbing his hands together under the table, and his face is tight with anxiety.
“Excuse me,” he says, pushing his chair back as he stands up. I watch him as he heads to the hallway that houses the restrooms. I give him a few minutes and then excuse myself. This whole situation is my fault, and I need to make sure he’s okay. The restrooms are all the way at the end of the hallway, and I stop about halfway down to lean against the wall and wait for him. When he finally comes out, he locks eyes with mine, and he slowly comes to a stop across from me, leaning against the opposite wall. I watch him inhale a deep breath. I take a step closer so I’m in the middle of the hallway.
“I’m so sorry, John… I didn’t realize it was gonna be this busy, or I never would have let you come. I feel so terrible, I should have never put you in this positi—”
“Mia,” he cuts me off and then continues in a rough voice, “I just need a minute… it’s a lot. The noise, the people, everything.” At that moment, some girls come out of the women's bathroom, and I need to scoot closer to John to let them pass. We’re now about a foot away from each other, and it’s hard to ignore the current that hums between us. It’s so thick I can almost hear it. I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same thing happening—he’s probably preoccupied with whatever’s going on. And I’m being superficial by focusing on something as petty as being attracted to him, when I should be giving him space to work through whatever he’s feeling. Feeling guilty, I start backing away to leave.
“I get it…I’ll leave you alone so you can—” My words stop when he grabs my wrist. I glance down at his hand and then look up to find his eyes locked on mine.
“Can you stay?” he pleads, his eyes so full of torment that I can't help but hold my breath. I realize in this moment that I just might agree to anything he asks if it might take some of the pain away.
I nod. “Of course,” I whisper. I move so I’m right next to John, our arms touching, and I lean myself against the wall too. I’m not sure exactly what he needs in this moment. Should I talk to distract him? Or should I stay silent and give him some peace and quiet? I opt for silence, hoping that my presence alone is what he was asking of me. After about five minutes, I can see his chest rise and fall out of the corner of my eye as he takes a couple deep breaths. He pushes away from the wall and turns to face me with a timid smile on his face. His face and eyes look slightly more relaxed then just a few minutes ago. My eyes lock with his, and I search for anything he’ll give me.
“Let’s go,” he says. I nod and follow him out of the hallway and back to our table. As soon as we sit down, our food arrives, and we dig in. I inhale my food, trying to speed this up as fast as I can. I can see John take a few deep breaths, but overall he’s a trooper. He even joins in the conversation a little bit. When we’re done eating, John gets up and goes to the bar to pay before I have a chance to offer to do it myself. While he’s there, I rush my mom and Paige to finish their drinks.
“You don’t want to stay for one more?” Paige asks. I shake my head. “No, I’m exhausted. Let’s go back to the cottage.” They reluctantly agree, and we stand up just in time for John to join us to walk out of the bar. As we walk to John's car and further away from other people, I finally release the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
Once again, Mom and Paige do most of the talking on the drive back. When we arrive, I thank John for dinner and give him a hug goodnight. I hug him for a beat longer than I normally would, to hopefully convey how sorry I am for how the night went… or maybe it was for purely selfish reasons, I’m not exactly sure. He gives me a reassuring smile as I back away toward the cottage, waving goodnight.