So, could she keep it from him? Right up until the moment he died?
Or would she be able to intervene?
Laura drained the rest of her coffee in one go and set about attacking the rest of the paperwork. She couldn’t deal with this right now. She had things to do. Responsibilities. If she didn’t get this done, people were going to ask why. She could digest this later, when she was back at home on her own. She could grieve for him then, and figure out what she was going to do. Not now. Not in the middle of the office.
“Hey, heroes!” That was Jones, a short and squat agent with dark hair, walking by them to reach his desk at the very back
of the room. “Come down from cloud nine yet?”
“This paperwork brought me down to earth like an anvil,” Nate joked, turning to look over his shoulder as Jones passed through.
“That was good work, though,” Jones said, raising his coffee to his lips and sipping before lifting it in Laura’s direction. His heavy brows jumped up and down at the same time. “You too, Frost. Pretty glad you were there, to be honest. I couldn’t stand the thought of that kid dying out there in that box.”
“Oh, you’ve got a son around that age, haven’t you?” Nate said. “Yeah, that must have been tough. It was bad enough for me to think about it, and I don’t have kids.”
“Believe me, whole world changes when you’ve got ’em,” Jones said, shaking his head, one hand on his hip. “Ain’t that right, Laura?”
Laura stiffened even more than she already was. “Sure,” she said, her tone flat and brittle.
“Jones,” Nate hissed, making a flapping motion at him.
“Oh, sorry,” Jones said, wincing as he sat down. He wasn’t the most socially adept agent in the room, even when he was the only one in the room. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Laura sighed. There was so much on her shoulders. It felt like the weight of the whole world. Her daughter. The governor and what he was going to do to Amy. And now Nate. At least she didn’t have another case to work on just yet. A little break might help her to get her mind around a few things.
The phone on Nate’s desk burst into life, emitting a shrill ring before he snatched up the receiver. “Agent Lavoie,” he said, his expression going serious as he listened.
Laura watched him with concern. The call he was on right now—was that what led to the end of his life?
Every little thing, she realized. She was going to be analyzing every little thing now. Every sign that something might not be right. Every call was going to make her jump out of her skin. Every case would be a potential danger. She didn’t want to lose Nate. He was a good partner. A good friend.
Well, as good a friend as someone could be when you only saw each other on the job. She’d never been to his home, and he’d never visited her apartment. They didn’t meet elsewhere for coffee. They didn’t gossip about their family lives, at least beyond the greater sketch of the need-to-know. They didn’t share feelings.
But, after three years of working together, he was still the closest friend she had. And what did that say about her life?
Either way, he was a good person. One of the best. The thought of him no longer being in the world made her feel sick.
“That was the chief,” Nate said, pointing a finger up to heaven. To the floors above them, where senior agents had their offices. “Wants to see us in the sky.”
Laura nodded, tossing her empty coffee cup into the trash as she stood. “He say what it’s about?”
“Time off for our efforts?” Nate said, and grinned as he shook his head. “No idea. But I’d bet he has a job for us.”
“Great,” Laura said, following him through the bullpen and out into the hall beyond again, trying not to sound as irritated as she felt. She couldn’t deal with something else right now, not on top of all the rest. And it wasn’t as though she could tell them why she needed time out. She’d hoped for a lull, for paperwork and maybe some mandated counseling that she could space out for.
The muscles of Nate’s back moved visibly under his shirt as he led the way. Normally, Laura found it reassuring to walk in his shadow. He was a powerhouse; people stepped out of his way. They didn’t mess with him unless they had a death wish. In his wake, Laura was also protected. She didn’t have to shout to be heard or ask people to step aside. They just listened.
But now she looked at his back and felt nothing but a sickening apprehension. What she felt was only a harbinger of a potential future, she knew. It wasn’t the whole story. There might be things she could do to stave it off for him. But until she had the vision that explained everything, she wouldn’t know.
And even then, it might still happen anyway.
They took the elevator up to the chief’s floor, and in the brief interlude of whirring machinery and tinned music, Laura flinched back against the wall. She didn’t want Nate to accidentally touch her. Not now she knew how it would feel.
She knew if she didn’t get over it, he would notice. He was an FBI agent. He wasn’t known for being oblivious to the details. Even with their casual relationship, he would notice if she couldn’t bear to have him hand her anything or step too close.
The doors slid open to welcome relief. Nate gestured forward and allowed her to step out of the elevator first, and Laura found herself walking fast along the hall to keep out of his range of touch.
“You in a hurry?” he asked, sounding amused from behind her.