I disconnect and toss my phone onto the coffee table. She sounded homesick, and I can relate. I miss her too, but it doesn’t have anything to do with home. I lost my home the minute Mom tried Sweet at a dinner party and decided nothing else mattered but the next taste. It gives me an idea to do a series on how simple middle-class people like Neil Simpson and my mom can become addicted and how it can drop them so low they’re killing people and hooking on the streets for the next hit.
While my bath is running, I jot my ideas down to run by Barney. Maybe I’ll be poking Stevie again with this series, but if I don’t do it, who will?
Up to my chin in bubbles, my hot chocolate sitting on the toilet’s lid, I let a few tears run down my cheeks. Talia’s right. I’ll never meet anyone else. At least, I’ll never meet anyone I’ll love as much as Rick. He slipped under my skin with his pain, into my heart with his bravery.
I sigh and wipe my face leaving a smear of rose-scented bubbles behind. I’m not the first woman to get dumped, and Idohave a good life despite it. I’m excited for everything moving to Old Harbor is giving me. With or without Rick, relocating was a good choice, and I have no regrets.
After a long soak, I dry off, and in my pajamas, I sit in front of the window. I can’t see much but a sliver of moon that isn’t hidden by the taller buildings around me. When Rick looks up into the sky, does he think of me? He said he doesn’t love me, but that’s not true. He’s decided he can’t be with me for another reason he won’t say, and I’m going to drift away. I’ll always love him, but I need more than a hope and a wish one day we’ll end up together.
Ah, who am I kidding? I close my eyes, rest my head against the back of the couch, and relive the last time we made love. The way his whiskers would scratch against my cheek, the way he would slide into me so slowly, so careful not to hurt me.
I’ll wait forever.
It would be just like Rick’s stubbornness to make me.