“Hey, honey,” I say, holding my phone between my shoulder and cheek. “How are you?”
“Good. Miss you.”
“I miss you, too. What are you and Beau doing?” I begin to walk down the sidewalk toward the apartment where I plan to run a hot bath, drink a mug of spiked hot chocolate, and go to bed early.
“We’re home. It’s been a quiet day. I asked him to put up a tree yesterday, and he grumped about it all day. He said he never bothered before, can you believe that? I don’t know why you didn’t drive in.”
“Ah, I don’t need to be a third wheel during every holiday. Did...Rick go into the city?”
“No, and Beau’s sad. It’s tough for him to understand why he doesn’t want to live in Cedar Hill anymore, especially since you proved the accident wasn’t his fault.”
“Maybe it wasn’t enough to give him closure. He told me he’s over his ex-wife, but maybe he’s not and didn’t want to admit it. There could be several reasons, but if he won’t say, we won’t know. There’s a lot of buzz here that he’s going to start investing in Old Harbor. People are excited.” I reach out and grab a traffic light as my heel slips across a patch of ice.
“How long are you going to wait for him, Devyn?”
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m not waiting.”
“Yeah, you are.”
“I’m not, really. There’s nowhere else for me to go. I have a lot of empathy for Rick. I don’t want to live in Cedar Hill, either. Old Harbor is good enough. There’s everything you can want without the dirt of the big city. I like being near the water. Barney’s a great boss, and he said he’s going to start prepping me to be the editor-in-chief of the paper. He wants to retire within the next five years. The university reached out and asked if I could teach a journalism 101 course. I might go back to school, too, and earn my teaching degree. You’re close enough I can see you when I like. I’m happy, Tal.”
“How long will that last without Rick?” she asks. She’s gotten wiser with her time in rehab, the experience giving her wisdom beyond her years, and as my sister, she can see right through me.
“I’ll meet someone else,” I say lightly, opening the building’s side door and trotting up the short flight of carpeted stairs to my apartment.
“No, you won’t.”
Juggling my purse, keys, and phone, I unlock my apartment door and let myself in. I didn’t decorate for Christmas, only putting out some candied apple scented candles. Lately, I haven’t been turning on my lights, preferring to putter around in the dark. It fits my mood.
I slide off my jacket—I’m still wearing the one Beau bought for me—and hopping on one foot then the other, pull off my boots. “Meh. You’re probably right, but what does that matter? I don’t need a man to be happy. I was fine before I met him. Tell me about you. You were able to finish up your classes online? Are you enrolling at a school in Cedar Hill?”
I worried she’d drop her classes completely or go back to the campus she was attending when she’d gotten hooked on Sweet. I don’t want her going to a campus that’s tainted with bad memories.
Her voice drops, and she sound so sad and confused. “I’m going to take Spring semester off and figure things out. Devyn, I just don’t know.”
“Oh, honey. You barely know him. How do you expect to have a full-blown relationship with someone you’ve known for two months? You can’t. I didn’t want to tell you what to do, especially since I made a fucked-up mess of my relationship with Rick, but maybe you’re just asking Beau for too much.”
She sighs, and I hear shuffling and a door close. “See, that’s the thing, I’m not the one asking. I’m staying in his guestroom, I know you saw that, so there’s no point in hiding it. He says he doesn’t want me to think he expects sex. That’s sweet, really, but I was a drug addict, not a sex addict. I want to do it!”
I pause in the middle of my dark living room. “Wait. You mean you and Beau haven’t done it yet?”
“No! He looks at me like I’m dessert, but he kisses me goodnight and goes to his room alone. I feel like...I don’t know how I feel. He wants me, but he won’t take me.”
“Oh,” I sigh, sinking onto the couch. “Oh, that’s so romantic. Chivalrous. You’re a lucky girl.”
“I don’t feel lucky,” she says darkly, and I laugh.
“Well, you are. If you guys would have fallen into bed the second I left, then your complaints would be a lot different from now. You’d think he was using you or keeping you around to have you when he wanted and nothing more. He cares about you. That’s big.”
“Yeah?” she asks hopefully.
“Yeah. I have so much respect for him—he’s a keeper. Give it time. You have plenty. I wish you wouldn’t take a break from classes, but I can see why you would. Just promise me that you’ll enroll somewhere in the fall. You’ll be a great psychologist.”
“Thanks. Beau’s looking for me, so I should go.”
“I should go, too. Goodnight. Thanks for calling, and Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”