Chapter Sixteen
Rick
Idon’t breathe easy until Mack texts me and says he dropped Devyn off safely at the building, and I log into the security app and watch her walk through the lobby before turning off my phone.
“You are really in love with her,” Beau says as we sit in a large conference room waiting for the next meeting. I could be pissed he booked all my time today, but I shouldn’t have expected less. It’s the first time I’ve been in Cedar Hill in two years, and he’s been understanding until now. He wouldn’t be a good businessman if he didn’t take advantage when he could.
“She’s everything I need,” I say honestly, thinking about making love to Devyn all night. It hadn’t mattered we were in the bedroom I’d shared with Renata. The room has been empty for a long time, and Renata’s presence isn’t there anymore. “When she’s done poking around, and we’re back in Old Harbor, I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
I expect a congratulations or a hearty slap on the back, but Beau glowers at me.
An icy finger trails over my skin. I wanted it to be that simple. I don’t know why it can’t be.
He tells me why.
“What?You think you’re going to hole up in Old Harbor and have sex twenty-four/seven while I work my ass off for you? No thanks. I’ve been patient, waiting you out, but we’ve got that goddamned site to deal with, and maybe one day I’d like to get married, too. Did you ever think of that? You do what you can from Old Harbor, I’ll give you that, but it’s nothing like being here, where I’ve needed you. If you can’t work for your own company because of the accident, cut me loose and move on, Rick. I’m tired.”
“Is this because of Talia?” Maybe I underestimated how smitten he is with her.
“No, it’s not about Talia. I don’t have time, Rick. I don’t have time to date, go on a fucking vacation. I haven’t seen my parents in years. I’m pushing forty, and I want kids. You wanted kids, why can’t I have kids?”
I lean back in my chair, run my fingers through my hair. “What are you talking about? You date all the time.”
“No one who means anything. Relationships need time to nurture, and the only relationships that I’m nurturing now are on your behalf.”
I know where this is going, and I don’t like it. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“I want you to move back to Cedar Hill and share the work like we used to. We had a great balance, and I need that back.”
He’s not asking me anything he shouldn’t have asked six months ago, a year ago. Longer than that. I can’t argue with anything he’s said. We work best in the same building, but when I moved out to Old Harbor, I thought it was for good. Beau hadn’t. He never thought it was permanent.
I didn’t communicate that with him. If I had, he would have quit a long time ago.
Fuck.
Shoving a handout from the previous meeting across the table in frustration, I say, “Then do what you need to do. Cash in your vacation, go on a leave of absence, do whatever you think you’ve been missing out on while I’ve been in Old Harbor. I’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want to flat-out leave. I want your help.”
I squirm in my chair as his eyes flash, displaying emotions he’s never had a difficult time revealing. I’ve bottled everything up for so long, Beau’s honesty adds another layer of guilt to my already aching back.
Defensively, I say, “Things will never go back to how they used to be.”
He stands in a flurry of agitation, hands on his hips. “Maybe I don’t want things to go back to the way they were. You and Renata, me with my flavor of the week, double dating every weekend. Jasmine called me last night, asked me to go out, and I turned her down. First night in weeks I stayed home, and I liked it. I liked knowing Talia was with me, I liked knowing I’d wake up to her—”
“Did you—”
“No, we didn’t. I just met her, and she’s too fragile to fuck around with. I like that too. That she would need time. That’s the kind of relationship I want. With her, maybe. She’s got a lot going on, and with my past, I do, too. Maybe too much to deal with hers, but I’d like to try, see where it leads. Things have changed, and things are still changing. You have to stop hiding from it.”
I don’t know what that will mean for Devyn and me. She shouldn’t be in the city now but running from Stevie Johansson isn’t the answer. If it weren’t for keeping Talia safe, I doubt Devyn would do it indefinitely. She’d stand up for herself, no matter the consequences.
“Can you give me until the New Year? Take the holidays off, and we’ll regroup after the First. Devyn isn’t safe here, and if she says yes, we’ll have to talk about where we’re going to live and where she’ll work. She’s not going to find anything digging through boxes that are two years old, and she’ll stop looking sooner than later. She needs to find a job. I’m willing to support her, but she won’t let me. Give me a little more time.”
“I’m only willing to do that because you’re here, right now. If you would have asked me something like that over the phone, I would have said forget it. I’m happy you found her, I really am,” he says, and he holds out his hand for a firm shake over the conference table, “but I want a life, too.”
I nod, and the tension is broken when a few others trickle in for the next meeting.
Fuck. I don’t know what she’s going to say when I tell her Beau wants me in the city. They moved to keep Talia away from Sweet and for Devyn to stay out of Stevie’s crosshairs. That lasted only while she was out of Cedar Hill, and Stevie took aim the second Devyn crossed over the city limits. I miss most of what’s said, thinking only about holding Devyn and running through all the ways I could ask her to marry me and all the reasons why she would say no.