I prayed to God the makeup covering my tattoos hadn’t somehow washed off. I had been told it was good with soap and water for over thirty-six hours.
Her head whipped to mine. “What?”
“You were a nursing major.” Shit, shit, shit. “All I’m saying is you would have been a really good nurse, fantastic, actually.”
Her eyes filled with unshed tears, she bit on her lower lip and nodded. “I think I would have been too, it’s unfortunate that the Tennyson women don’t work, right?”
The hell?
“Uh, right.” Mom hadn’t worked. Had Julian told Isobel she wasn’t allowed to?
I tried to school my expression as her breath hitched and her palms touched my shoulders, tugging the sleeves down.
And I knew in that moment.
She knew something wasn’t right.
Maybe my brother hadn’t kept up his vigorous running routine.
Maybe we’d made an error in judgment.
According to Dad, she had no idea Julian was a twin.
Maybe she would assume she was exhausted, hallucinating. I had to make this work. I had to lie and say whatever it took to convince her. I hadn’t thought of the opposite. That she would be thankful I looked different from what she remembered, that her eyes would dilate the minute they met mine, that she would look at me and her breathing would hitch.
I was doing that to her.
And I was ready to do a lot more.
Ready to tell her everything.
To take her away from the nightmare. After knowing her for only a few hours I was ready to step up as the white knight.
And that’s why I needed to keep my distance.
Because I already had a damsel to save.
And she was dying.
Not to mention a twin who was in a coma fighting for his life.
This wasn’t about me.
It never would be.
My thoughts sobered as Izzy finally got the shirt free and pulled it down, dropping it to the floor.
Her eyes raked over me like the stranger I was.
“You’re staring,” I whispered.
“I’m not stupid.”
“Nobody said you were,” I countered, waiting for the worst.
Her hands moved to my biceps like she wanted to make sure they were real. They slid from my biceps back to my shoulders and then to my face as she cupped it between her hands and turned my head slowly from side to side like she was examining me or looking for clues.
I grabbed her by the wrists and smiled as genuinely as I could. “You’re starting to scare me a bit.”
“Me? Scare you?” Her eyes narrowed. “I went to sleep thinking you were dead.”
At least she didn’t say hoping you were dead. That was progress, right?
“And this afternoon you show up on my doorstep like nothing was wrong, like you didn’t just have life-saving surgery. I haven’t seen any sutures large enough to look like they cut you open. All I see is a lot of bruising and obvious . . . swelling.” She gulped.
“That happens in surgery,” I said casually. “The swelling.”
“Bullshit,” she fired back. “Otherwise every scrawny guy would get in a car accident in hopes of looking this . . . swollen.”
I grinned at that. “I’ve always worked out. I’ve been lifting more, and you know I’ve been busy with the buyout. I have no reason to lie to you.”
Her face fell. I hated that I was lying just as much as I hated the disappointment in her eyes that I was, in her mind, the same man she couldn’t trust.
“You don’t need to remind me of all the time you haven’t been spending with me, and you’re right, I guess I just missed it.” She started to pull away. I hated it.
“It’s been months, Izzy.” I tilted her chin toward me and pressed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. “And I’m sorry for that. Once this buyout is finished we’ll go to the Hamptons or something.” I loathed saying that entire sentence. “Maybe even Hawaii?”
“You haven’t taken a vacation in over a year, least of all with me.”
“Then I’m clearly an idiot for turning down any opportunity of seeing you in a bikini.”
She laughed at that. “Ah, honesty at last, you just want sex.”
“Who said anything about sex? I just want to stare at you and show you off.”
Her entire demeanor changed. She pulled away. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. “Well, you may have started working out more, but you’re still the same on the inside, aren’t you?”
“In some ways,” I said tightly. “But in others, completely changed.”
“I think you’re right, about needing rest.” She walked away from me. “Do you think you can manage putting on the fresh pullover?”
“I’ll make sure to wake you with my cursing if I struggle again.” I winked.
I could have sworn I heard her whisper under her breath, “Must be some drugs.”
I put on the shirt despite protests from every muscle in my body.
I made dinner.
And when it was time for bed, I crawled in next to her and stared at her back while she slept, wondering how the hell I was going to stay away when all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and tell her that for now at least, she was safe from my father and that until Julian woke up, I would protect her the way I’d failed to protect Julian.