CHAPTER 34
“I’m sure you did better than you think you did,” Mom was saying on our car ride back to the campsite.
I was practicing deep breathing because I didn’t want to have a breakdown.
“We’re always our own worst critics. You’ll see when you get your acceptance letter later this year.”
I closed my eyes and counted three heartbeats in and threeout.
“I mean, what exactly did she say?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Mom.” I had told her a few things when I first got in the car but didn’t go into detail. I especially didn’t tell her about my amazing display of temper, or my word choice, at the end.
“Did you tell her that you still had time to be more confident in your convictions? You have your whole senior year.”
“I did not tell her that.”
“Hmm. Well, it’s not too late. Maybe you could write her a nice thank-you telling her more of what you believe and standfor. I’m sure she loved you. Maybe this is a test. She wants to see how badly you want it. She put the ball in your court.”
I coughed out a short laugh at her word usage.
“What?” she said.
“Nothing.”
“You are fun and talented and very friendly. I’m sure she saw all that. Take a deep breath and think positive.”
“Mom, can you not do this right now?” I just wanted to sit and despair in peace.
“I’m sorry that I’m trying to be supportive.”
I held back a groan and pushed my forehead to the side window. I should’ve insisted on going into town alone. The others were barely getting breakfast started when we left and then were planning to go on a hike. I now wished my mom would’ve gone with them.
Mom was mostly quiet the rest of the trip. She’d thrown in a few more “helpful” suggestions along the way. I just wanted a huge hug from Skyler but when we got to the campsite, it was empty. Everyone was obviously still on their hike.
Mom paused by the picnic table. “Olivia said there’s a plate of leftovers from breakfast in the fridge. Are you hungry?”
“No, I’m fine.” I headed for the RV, hoping for a few quiet moments before everyone came back.
“Are you going to mope all day about this?” Mom asked.
“Maybe,” I said, unable to help myself.
“Where is your normal optimistic attitude?”
“I’m discovering something called realism.”
“I think if you put this disappointment into perspective, it might help you feel better.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, turning to face her again.
“I’m just saying we should be grateful for the opportunity and see what we can learn from it, but not dwell on it.”
“Notwe,Mom. Me. This is my future we’re talking about.”
“I know, but your future is still there and very bright.”
“I’m not allowed to be disappointed about this for one second because of what’s going on with Olivia right now? Is that what you’re saying?”