A look of rapture passed over Jamie’s face and his entire body started to shake. Marcus groaned at the taste of Jamie’s spend as it traveled down the back of his throat. The taste, the front row seat to Jamie’s orgasm, sent Marcus into outer space, his belly twisting violently from the onslaught of relief. Marcus closed his eyes, but somehow the world was still Technicolor. Holy shit holy shit holy shit. It was the never-ending climax. Jamie’s cock jerked over and over in his mouth and Marcus memorized every spasm, every guttural curse from the man above him even as his own spurts of come rained down on his lap, probably getting on the couch but who fucking cared? Life was grand and he was flooooaaaaating.
It seemed to take ages for Marcus’s body to readjust to life on earth. His equilibrium was shot and all he could do when Jamie pulled out of his mouth was flop his head back, trying desperately to fill his lungs. For several beats, Marcus was happy. Almost…giddy in a way. He felt like he’d just been fed nitrous oxide at the dentist—that’s how satisfied he was. And he hadn’t been that way in a long-ass time. Maybe ever.
Jamie stood, staring down at Marcus with a heaving chest. Marcus couldn’t read his expression, but he thought it might have been a mixture of concern and shock. He watched as Jamie turned to walk to the bathroom and—
Oh, so that’s where his come had landed. It was all over Jamie’s back and the top swells of his ass, which were visible above the back waistband of Jamie’s unzipped jeans. Those two tan humps flexed as he walked and Marcus almost got up to follow him. Just to observe.
But the moment Jamie vanished into the bathroom, Marcus’s perspective stomped into the apartment like a ten-ton elephant.
He’d just given a blow job.
This morning, he’d never given one. He’d been trying to do the right thing. Or maybe not the right thing, but at least what was expected of him. What was necessary. He’d been trying to put thoughts of Jamie out of his head. If he could just make it to the end of the week without caving and trying to get close to him, he could probably get to the end of the summer, too. Jamie would go back to teaching. Marcus would be busy with the Main Squeeze. No time to worry or consider if his life would always be unfulfilled because he’d been born…gay. And didn’t know how to live that way.
His family was small. Of the three of them, Marcus was the butt of the jokes. The one whose IQ was always speculated on when he did something dumb. When he told his father and brother about his fledgling idea for a juice shop, they’d not so subtly suggested he take the civil servant exam instead. To considering following in his brother’s footsteps. What are you, some kind of friggin’ businessman now? I love you, bro, but you couldn’t tie your shoes until you were ten. Let’s be real here.
Marcus sat forward and dropped his head into his hands.
Jesus, he could only imagine what they’d say if he brought home Jamie.
Jamie, who they should admire. He was smart as hell, a good brother, funny, he put up with Marcus following him around like a puppy dog. Jamie had this way of pretending to be exasperated with Marcus, but two seconds later, there he was agreeing to help with the Main Squeeze, because he was secretly caring. Yeah, Jamie was complicated and wonderful and…a little bruised up over the past, but that mostly made Marcus want to hug him. Like, all the time.
No way should anyone treat Jamie with anything less than respect.
Being ridiculed by his own family? Marcus would have a hard enough time with that. But if they did it to Jamie? His temper would scorch the goddamn earth.
Bottom line, Marcus had decided to pull back. Stop pursuing Jamie. It had been hard enough staying away when they’d only rubbed their bodies together on the train. This was so much further. Could he even go back to his old self now? Was that even possible?
Everything was moving too fast. One minute he’d been watching bad porn and the next he was a practicing gay man. What the hell was he supposed to do?
Jamie’s hand landed on Marcus’s shoulder without warning.
On reflex, Marcus shoved it off. Jamie stared back at him, holding a towel limply at his side and he was more vulnerable than Marcus had ever seen him. Come to think of it, he’d never seen Jamie vulnerable. But he snapped his guarded expression back into place almost immediately, clearing his throat as he found his shirt, yanking it down over his head.