But I’m not so sure. I’ve been making a lot of mistakes this weekend. I made a mistake once, a bad one, and the quiet ones punished me. I’m the only one who knows about them, so I’m the only one who knows the whole story. But everyone knows a fragment or two of what happened.
It was the Summer of Eagles, the first summer I was allowed to bring all of my friends to the lake house for a whole weekend. I wanted everything to be perfect, and I had planned a surprise.My mother had spoken to Mrs. Oglebie and arranged for us to adopt our class pet, Miss Palindrome, over the summer while our former teacher was studying overseas. My father had driven up a day early with Miss Palindrome, who would be waiting for us when we arrived. For once, I was thrilled to have a secret.
But when we arrived, my father quickly took my mother aside. I tore through the house looking for the cage, but it wasn’t there. I eventually found it in the boathouse—my father had apparently moved it there so that we wouldn’t be upset to find it empty. So much for that. I wasn’t there when the rest of my friends found Miss Palindrome. I was still puzzling over the empty cage in the boathouse.
My father apologized over and over. He insisted that he left the cage in the kitchen, securely locked, and went to sleep. When he awoke, the door was open and Miss Palindrome was gone. He guessed that somehow a raccoon had gotten in through the attic and worked the cage door open, then chased the poor thing down into the cellar and attacked it. I didn’t buy that for a second, but exterminators did find some holes that needed mending, so no one gave the matter another thought. The cage was carefully disposed of, and there was another secret for me to keep. None of my friends ever learned what happened to the real Miss Palindrome—how could they, when for all they knew, she was safe at home? We bought Mrs. Oglebie a new rabbit, and she opted to keep the secret and name it Miss Palindrome. Her incoming class was already excited to pet the legendary class bunny.
To this day, I’m not sure what mistake cost Miss Palindrome’s life.
Whether it was Miss Palindrome herself that was unacceptable, or something my father did that I will never know, or whether they disapproved of my friends. I don’t know if the quiet ones meant to punish me, or Chelsea, or someone else.
Maybe all of us.
I do know that after Miss Palindrome’s killing, I never saw a quiet one again. I’ve felt them for a very long time, but I cannot see them anymore. Not so much as a glimmer of light in the darkness. Not until today.
I don’t want to think about what that means.
“How are you feeling?”
I turn around to see Chelsea standing over me. She looks completely innocent. Resentment vibrates through me, but I tamp it down. No more girl on the stairs. No more slamming doors.
“Better.”
Mila gives me an odd look as Chelsea settles down on the floor next to me like nothing ever happened. “Everything okay with Emily?” she asks pointedly.
“What?” Chelsea furrows her brow. “Oh. Yes.” Her eyes dart out the window toward Ryan just for a split second, and again I have to force myself to stay calm. I press my icy glass against my pounding forehead. I understand that she still cares about him. I don’t relate, but I believe he has an important place in her life. What I don’t understand is why she would need to lie to me. First about dating him. But at least we weren’t technically together then. There’s nothing to forgive about that, even if it hurts. But now? The fact that she’s still lying to meabout anything involving Ryan scares the living hell out of me. But again she turns to Mila like nothing is wrong, the classic Chelsea subject change. “Catch me up? Speed round. Coke or Pepsi?”
Mila looks taken aback. “Water? I hate soda.”
“Mets or Yankees?”
“Islanders.”
“Fair. Killer or victim?”
“Final girl.”
Chelsea leans forward. “And how will the world end? With a bang or a whisper?”
Mila considers. “A series of clicks and chimes from the AI revolution.”
“Interesting. Explain.”
“The two biggest threats to humanity are artificial intelligence and climate change. But AI wins because it’s an economic, security, and potentially mass-weapon threat. And it’s the ultimate culmination of humanity’s impulse to self-destruct.”
Chelsea looks impressed. “All very good points.” And like that, Mila wins over Chelsea, too.
Mila might be more interesting than I originally estimated.
She’s also kind of cute. Or maybe I’m just pissed off at Chelsea. When I get angry at her, it makes other people automatically more attractive. It shouldn’t, but it does. I always wonder whether that’s human nature or something that makes me personally evil. Hopefully the former. But I’m too afraid to ask anyone else because I honestly don’t want to know if it’s just me.
Chelsea sips her gemonade slowly, and my eyes followhers out the window again. I can’t tell if she’s looking at Ryan or the sunset. But I suddenly feel so sad and helpless I want to cry. Nothing feels good anymore. Maybe it’s my head. I put my drink down and struggle to rise.
Mila shifts over in the hammock. “Sorry. I’m tangled.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s basically a fishing net. This is how dolphins die and shit.” Chelsea reaches over and helps me up, and I lean into her.
“I feel light-headed,” I say.