She was still far from overcoming them.
Up until now, Olive had somehow managed to avoid looking at the closest lifeguard tower, but she did so now—and deflated when the guy sitting in the chair didn’t even resemble Rory a little bit. Although she wasn’t sure if it was in relief or disappointment.
There was one thing she did know. She wasn’t going to sit around waiting for him to call. Or replaying their morning together and wondering if she could have done something differently. For years, she’d played that what if game with her family and it was a new day. A new day of matching shower curtains and towels, dammit.
That burst of pride turned out to be exactly what Olive needed to remove her cover-up. She whipped it off and stuffed it into her beach bag. There. Done. She’d inflicted her breasts on the beach and they’d just have to deal. Tan lines or bust.
Olive placed her glasses carefully in her bag’s front pocket and flopped down on her back, dug her heels into the granules of sand and cleared her mind of insecurities and what ifs, letting the sun’s heat bake them away. Salsa music reached her ears from one side, rap music from the other. The beach goers were jovial, calling to each other, their voices dripping with Long Island. Kids squealed down at the water line and occasionally kicked sand onto Olive as they ran past. The chaos somehow took place around her without involving her, though, leaving her to bask in anonymity, the heat nearly putting her to sleep.
She wasn’t sure what caused her eyes to pop open. Or what caused a pinwheel to roll down her spine. Something made her sit up, though, fanning herself with a hand to cool her sun-warmed skin. Without fail, her attention drifted to the lifeguard station—and there he was.
Rory leaned forward in the elevated chair, his hands clasped loosely between his knees, watching her behind a pair of black sunglasses. Yes, there was no doubt he watched her, a muscle ticking in his cheek. The tattoos hadn’t been fully visible the day before, but they were on full display now, hugging big portions of his skin like spiderwebs. And Olive might as well have been naked for the awareness that crept over her, lifting goose bumps down the length of her arms, making her thighs feel like gelatin, all the way up to her sex. When had he gotten there? How long had he been watching her? How did he reach out and touch her from thirty yards away?
Olive turned back around to face the water, forcing her fingers to stop clutching the sides of the towel. He hadn’t even waved. Or smiled. He almost looked mad at her, which made no sense, since he’d been the one to not call. What would a cool, calm and collected adult with a new Bed Bath & Beyond credit card do in this situation? Olive had no clue, but if she sat there much longer, she was going to melt under his close scrutiny.
Reminding herself that no one cared about her boobs, Olive stood up, wincing when she had no choice to dust some stray sand off her butt, and walked casually toward the water. Really, she’d been planning to go for a swim at some point. She’d never even dipped a toe into the Atlantic Ocean, so now was a good a time as any.
“Oh my God,” she croaked when icy cold water rushed up her ankles and licked at her knees. “It’s eighty degrees. Shouldn’t you be warm?”
There was no choice but to wade in farther after coming this far. It hurt, though. She wanted to be back on top of Sigmund Freud cultivating a tan, not courting hypothermia.
Olive heard her whining conscience and frowned at the horizon. She’d left the comfort of her parents’ mini-mansion—complete with heated pool—to make a real change. They could cast her aside in the name of Internet fame, but she’d made the decision to leave Oklahoma for New York. She’d taken control of the separation this time, so they couldn’t do it for her. Now that she was on her own in this big, unfamiliar place, she wouldn’t stay stuck in a bedroom listening to life take place on the other side of her door.
She took a deep breath, whimpered under her breath, and let her body drop beneath the surface of the water. It covered her head with a rushing foam gurgle, before the world around her turned muted. Bluish green pushed against her lids, allowing her to see the color even with her eyes closed. It was such a glorious and beautiful rush, she forgot to be cold. When she emerged from the surface again, she couldn’t contain the laugh that bubbled up in her throat. Totally worth leaving her books to gather dust for the afternoon.