“Shut up or I swear to God…”
‘I love you.”
He put his fist through the drywall by her head. Shannon remained still. He released her, backing up. Suddenly, he grabbed one of the barstools and flung it across the concrete floor toward the elevator, where it clattered to a stop. “I laid it all out for you, Shannon!” he roared. “I put it all out there, and you walked. You walked, and I had to let you go. I had to wake up every day without you. I can’t go through that again. I let go once. I can’t do it again. I can’t lose another person in my life. I just can’t.”
“You won’t.”
He shook his head, not trusting it, not believing it. “We’re over, Shannon.”
“We’re not over. We are never going to be over.” She approached him slowly, took his hand and laid it on her chest over her heart. “Don’t you feel that? Don’t you feel that all the way to your soul? There is no Shannon without Crash, not anymore. Tell me there’s no Crash without Shannon.” When he didn’t respond, she searched his eyes. “I can’t be alone in feeling this way. Some part of you must feel it, too.”
He pulled his hand free, backing away. “You’re not hearing me, babe. I want you gone.”
Her chin came up, and determination to fight for this, for him, stiffened her spine. “What’s the thing you’re most afraid of?”
He let out a short laugh. “You know, when I saw where you lived, the luxury you were raised in…” He shook his head. “It really became apparent how jacked up it was to ever think we could’ve worked out.”
“That’s not true, Crash.”
He collapsed down on the sectional, suddenly drained and exhausted, the desire to fight with her gone. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and his hands folded.
Shannon stared at him. He looked lost and full of pain, and she wanted to wash away all that hurt. “I was wrong, Crash. I messed up.”
“Naw, you weren’t, Princess. You were right.” He straightened, his palms coming to his thighs. She knew in a moment he was going to stand up and walk away.
Go to him. The words whispered through her brain.
She crossed the space to him and dropped to her knees between his spread thighs. He reared back. Her hands slid up his chest, his throat and cupped his face. “Yes, I was, baby. I was so wrong. It was a mistake to leave you. The biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my whole life. But, I’m never going to make that mistake again. I swear it to you.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”
“I’m the one that’s got something to prove.”
“What’s that?”
“That I’m worth all that. You’d give up everything for me. How can I ever be worth all that?”
“I’m nothing without you, baby. Nothing.”
“I know how you feel, then.”
Her coming to him like this, crossing the distance between them, it took him by surprise. He was stunned speechless by her action, and yet completely captured in her spell. It was exactly what he’d needed her to do, and he hadn’t even known it. But she had, somehow she’d known. Thank God, she’d known.
She looked deeply into his eyes, his face held gently in her cupped hands, and then her lips pressed to his. His arms went around her, crushing her to him. He needed her so bad, and he couldn’t fight it anymore. He needed her soft, woman’s touch to soothe away the hurt. To make it all better. He broke the kiss off and buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent, nuzzling her soft skin and silky hair.
He felt her soft mouth press against his neck, her hands slide free and wrap around him, stroking his back, tenderly, soothingly, lovingly. God, he’d missed this, his woman’s touch.
“I need you, Crash. I’m yours, don’t you see, I’ve always been yours. Without you my life is empty, meaningless, dark. You’re my light. Please don’t take that away from me.”
“Hush,” he whispered, holding her tight, like a lifeline. She was his anchor, his strength. It was like there were two beings inside him. One, his soul, who stood front and center now. Needing what she offered, soaking it in like the first warm day of spring after a long cold winter. But it wasn’t long before the other being inside him, the one that represented his body’s needs, stepped up and shoved the other part of him to the side and demanded attention, demanded its own needs be met.
He felt it take over him, and his arms tightened around her, bringing her torso flush against his. His legs straightened as he stood, and her legs locked around his waist as he stalked toward the bedroom carrying her in his arms.
He could have just laid her out on the couch. It would have been quicker and easier, but it had to be the bed. He needed her in his bed. After all the nights he’d lain awake in that bed, remembering her scent on his sheets, longing for her, wanting her there with him. It had to be the bed. He longed to see her stretched across it again, just for him. Longed to look down at her as she looked up at him with desire on her face.
He set her down on the edge, ordering, “Lie back.”