Laptop cradled in my arms, I sway side to side in my sandals. Any time now, Naomi.
I’ve always been nervous to run into Jason. The difference now is…I know why.
Those feelings I admitted—silently to myself—did not dissipate overnight and I have no idea what to do about them. Every time I sit down to make a mental pro/con list on the merits of having romantic feelings for Jason, I keep getting lost in that moment in the dressing room. What a magnificent hero and brother he was. In so many ways, Jason is the same man who answered the front door with a scowl. In others, he’s changing for the better.
Listen to yourself. I’ve been making a pro/con list about merely having feelings for the man. If I decide it’s okay to have feelings for Jason…what then? Nothing, that’s what. Yes, we shared a kiss, which was somehow more intimate than hoisting my booty into the air in his bedroom and pleasuring myself. It was…well, if I was more fanciful, I might even call it magical. However. Even if he was planning on staying in St. Augustine—which he’s not—I am bound for Charleston as soon as the pageant is over.
That’s if Birdie even plans on competing anymore.
I could be going back to Charleston a lot sooner than expected.
Finally, I open the front door purely to distract myself from the growing knot in my chest. Laptop in one hand, the bottom of my skirt in the other so I won’t trip, I make my way down the stairs and across the driveway, which smells of lingering cigar smoke. Pungent and sweet. When I walk into the kitchen, I’m surprised to find Jason and Birdie sitting at the kitchen table staring into their mugs of coffee. Birdie is in a long nightshirt and Jason is wearing only board shorts as usual, his network of tattoos looking sharp and blue in the morning light. How anyone is supposed to have a relaxing cup of coffee with his nipples staring back at them is beyond me. Thankfully I already had mine. Coffee. Not nipples. And while I’ve been thinking about nipples and coffee a full fifteen seconds has passed, the three of us looking at each other.
“Am I interrupting?”
“No.” Birdie starts to stand up but sits back down. “I was worried I scared you off with my meltdown yesterday.”
Jason leans back in his chair like a lazy lion, bringing his coffee mug to his lips. Lips I have now kissed. “I told her you wouldn’t scare off so easily.”
Relax. He can’t hear your pulse racing. This is just like every other day. Nothing has changed. “Jason is right. I—”
His coffee mug hits the table and he slowly sits forward. “What did you just call me?”
Oh Lord. Everything has changed, hasn’t it? My mouth won’t cooperate now that I’ve admitted to…having complicated feelings for this man. “Yes, well…once you go dress shopping with a person, it’s only right to be on a first-name basis. I’m not sure how you do things here in Florida, but…that’s the system. And if it’s not broke don’t fix it.” Ignoring Jason’s open scrutiny, I slide into a kitchen chair. “Now then, Birdie. You’re not getting rid of me that easy. I spent the night thinking you’d send me on my way. I was checking traffic on my route to Charleston just in case.”
Birdie deflates with relief. Jason turns a pale shade of green and slides his coffee away.
“Birdie, do you still want to be in this pageant?”
She takes a swallow of coffee. From the way she’s moving, I know her leg is jiggling beneath the table. “I think so.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“Yeah.”
I reach across the table and take her coffee-warmed hand. “I think we’ve been so focused on winning this pageant for Natalie, we forgot to remember she’s not the one competing. You’re the one putting the work in. We can find a way to honor your sister and you at the same time.” I squeeze. “You both deserve the win.”
Birdie doesn’t respond for so long, I’m not sure she ever will. “What’s with the laptop?” she asks finally.
“I’m glad you asked.” I splay my hands on the lid and lift. “You’re an original. There was nothing in that store yesterday good enough. So I did a little searching. Fell down quite a few rabbit holes. Did you know there’s a whole duct tape prom dress trend? Anyway, I ended up digging through alternative gowns, handmade designs. Things like that.” The tab I saved last night opens and I turn the screen to face her. “How about something like this?”
She sits forward, gaping at the retro, red and black checkered dress I found at the bottom of the internet last night. “Whoa.”
Pleasure sifts around inside me. “You like it.”