Chapter 3
For their first night’s meal, they chose the main dining room. Sean said it was the best way to scope out the talent, though it was the least likely place to get a premium meal. Jake felt a bit odd sitting at a table with Sean alone in a room full of mostly couples, so he was a bit relieved when the host asked if they wanted to be seated with other guests. They wound up sharing their table with some girls from a tour group “SUCC” which stood for Sexy Untamed College Cuties. Candy and Penny took a particular liking to Sean, flirting outrageously during the meal. Jake suspected some shenanigans were happening under the table but said nothing, instead deflecting the advances their friend Sue was making.
It wasn’t that Sue was unattractive. Far from it. She was a gorgeous blonde. The tight little black sundress she wore left little to the imagination. The problem was that Jake had no interest in anyone right now, least of all someone here for a wild weekend of sex. In order to keep her advances to a minimum, he told her the story about Charlotte, hoping it would bore her and send her off searching for a stud. Unexpectedly, it seemed to make her even more interested in him.
“Oh, so maybe what you need is someone to take your mind off things, no strings?” She giggled, amused at her rhyme. Her hand had somehow found its way to Jake’s lap. It had been years since someone other than Charlotte had touched him. He felt himself becoming aroused, but he also felt terrified, almost guilty. He had no reason to retain loyalty to Charlotte but he still felt as if he was betraying her.
Jake decided to extricate himself from the situation. “I need to use the restroom,” he said, lifting her hand off his leg and excusing himself. He had no intention of returning to the table despite leaving a half-eaten plate of prime rib behind. Suddenly he felt as if he was hyperventilating. He found a bench swing outside the dining structure and sat down, using the silence to calm his nerves. He realized this was the first time since he arrived at the church that he had been left alone. His mother Vivian refused to leave his side after the announcement. She would have insisted on coming with him to the hotel had Sean not pulled him away and swore he would report to her in the morning. Although Sean was less clingy, he made sure he was within reach should Jake need him.
It wasn’t what he needed though. He needed to be alone. He needed a place he could let loose the feelings he was keeping inside. The intense anger. The frustration. The incredible heartbreak. Even Sean, whom he had known since grade school, had never seen Jake lose control. His heart was pounding in his chest. Maybe he shouldn’t have come on this trip. Sean could have found someone else to take. Maybe he should have just stayed home and gone into the brokerage house, burying himself in work.
He rose, walking down to the water’s edge. Tide was low and the water lapped at the shore softly. It reminded Jake of the summers in Maine with his family. He stared at the ocean, dark and mysterious. Always in motion. He took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs, “WHY!”
A melodic voice shattered the air around him. “BECAUSE IT WAS TOO LOUD INSIDE,” a voice yelled. Jake whirled on his heel with a start, nearly smacking a red-haired woman in the face. “I mean Ithoughtit would be quieter out here, but I didn’t count on Captain Ahab waving his angry fist at the ocean.”
Jake tried to keep a straight face but he was caught off guard by her sarcasm. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I am just going through some things.”
“Aren’t we all, well did it help?”
“What?” Jake responded confused.
“The yelling. Did it make you feel any better?”
Jake considered. He did feel a bit better though he wasn’t sure if it was because of the yell or the conversation. “It seems it did, a little.”
The woman turned toward the ocean and let loose with a roar.
Jake couldn’t help but laugh. This girl was maybe 5’6, standing on her tiptoes, howling into the open sea.
“What’s so funny? Can’t a woman yell too or does the sea only help men?”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Howl all you want, I meant no disrespect.” He turned to walk back to the room, hoping to beat Sean there so he could get some sleep.
“Wait, I’m sorry. Just a bit defensive. My ‘things’ It’s just that all my life I feel nobody sees the real me. I have a lot inside that needs to be heard.”
Jake sat down in the sand, leaned back, and said, “I’m listening. Why don’t we start with your name? I’m Jake.”
“Alice,” she said after a slight hesitation, sitting down beside him. “Let’s just say I spend my life pretending; trying to make everybody happy. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself.”
“So you chose a swingers resort to find yourself?” Jake asked, immediately regretting the harshness of the question.”
“No, I am definitely not into that lifestyle. I am here strictly for a project I am working on called “Why I always end up with jerks.” Her tone was sarcastic but not malicious and Jake laughed. “Touché! Maybe we should start over. I’m Jake.”
Alice took his offered hand, returning a firm handshake. “Alice,” she said again, this time her voice had a sweet lilt to it.
They spoke for hours until the sun began to rise over the ocean in a burst of orange, yellow, and red. Jake walked Alice back to the tram stop, waiting until her concierge picked her up. As he helped her up the step onto the golf cart, she leaned close, kissing him on the cheek. “Thank you for not being a jerk.”