Am I annoyed that Addison went to work with the flu, instead of finding a replacement?
Bet your ass.
It’s more than that, though. The woman who called me had to walk Addison out of the market to meet me outside, because I couldn’t go in and get her myself. And that’s not sitting right. I don’t like these limitations. I’m starting to think I’ve put limitations on more than one area of our relationship, too. Like when she was half delirious and confessed she worries all the time about me losing the election.
Why don’t you talk to me about it?
Because that’s not why you keep coming back.
I’d just miss you the whole time.
That was the first time Addison has ever admitted to really wanting me here. I mean, I reckoned she did, since a woman like Addison wouldn’t agree to something that made her unhappy. But why would she hide it?
The way she clung to me as I carried her…
I realize I’ve had the scissors poised over a rose stem for at least fifteen minutes. Giving myself a shake, I keep cutting, even though I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Of course she was clinging to me, the poor thing must have been scared half to death. Not to mention, I’m her only friend in this town and she’d been too afraid to call me herself. Relief probably caused her to act out of character. That’s all.
“Elijah?”
I drop the scissors and turn to find Lydia entering the kitchen. “Hey. Is she awake?”
“She was. Briefly. I got her to take some more medicine.” She arches an eyebrow at the piles of leaves and cellophane wrap. “Her temperature has come down, but she needs a lot of sleep. The girl is exhausted.”
“Yeah.” I scrub both hands over my face. “This is my fault. I’ve been keeping her up.”
“Oh?”
“Not like that,” I growl, dropping my hands. “I just don’t come over until late and she stays up with me talking, cooking, making ornaments.”
Lydia stares at me with a blank expression.
That same itch under my collar is back. “What?”
“Elijah…” She takes her time leaning against the counter. “Don’t you think this relationship between you and Addison is a little odd?”
“Yeah, I do.” That seems to surprise her—maybe it even surprises me, too, and it takes me a few moments to gather an explanation. There is no patented description for what’s going on here. Addison started as my escape from the political grind and quickly became more than that. Her face is the one I want to see at the end of the day. Yes, she takes my mind off things, but her unique perspective on even the most mundane topics has made me think differently, too. Made me want to do my job better. She’s blunt and honest and lives life according to her own rules. I’ve found myself taking pages from her book while in the office and its been…amazing. Being around her makes me a better man. A better man for this city.
Sure, there are some definite complications. Namely the fact that I can’t stop picturing her incredible body while I’m jerking off, which has gone from an occasional indulgence to a frequent one. It’s her eyes, her mouth, her hands, too, that invade my head while I stroke toward release. Her voice. It was only meant to be once, but now that the barn door is open, I can’t get it closed. I’ve tried and failed over and over again. Hence her increasing supply of guilt cereal. She could feed an army at this point.
So is our relationship odd? Yeah. There’s probably never been another one like it, while my relationship with Naomi could have been predicted to the letter.
I can still remember the real estate agent walking us through the house where we’d planned to live. Until she’d pointed out a room meant to be the nursery, children had never been discussed between Naomi and me. But my fiancé never batted an eyelash, continuing the tour while I lagged behind. This is what’s expected. This is what we do, I’d thought.
Every single requirement had been ticked off the neat, carefully constructed list, but I somehow got it wrong nonetheless. Among other things I’d never spoken about with Naomi was my job. And she’d been perfectly content without knowing the details.
I’d been fine with it, too. Addison, though…I’m not so sure she wants to be kept in the dark. And I’m not fine with Addison wanting something and not giving it to her.
Lydia clears her throat and I struggle to remember where the conversation left off.
Don’t you think this relationship between you and Addison is a little odd?
Right. “Here’s the thing. I spent two years in a relationship that was considered totally normal. Every plan was set in stone, right down to our plans to buy a golden retriever and the slightly kooky wedding announcement. It blew up in my face.” I pick up a thorny rose stem and tap it on the counter. “I’m happy with the way things are with Addison.”