6
Icall Annie and tell her I’m going to be late. She huffs into the phone and eventually thanks me for letting her know… for a change. She hangs up with an air of irritation still stringing us together. It spills out of my phone and coats my body. She has no right to be pissed off. She knew the life she was getting into when she chose to say yes. I know it’s been harder on her since the girls came along, but the job hasn’t changed. Maybe we have. Or maybe we haven’t and that’s been the problem all along.
I tuck the phone into the centre console of the car as I drive off, the air con doing its best to try and push out the heat. It’s failing miserably and all I can feel is wetness under my armpits and along my back. The sun won’t set for another three hours, but it makes little difference to the humidity that clings on and seeps into everything.
I drive by Derek’s neighbourhood taking note of cameras and car parks. There will be very few blind spots in this area. Not what I was hoping for but still not a surprise. Very little happens these days without everyone noticing. I’ll have to come up with a better approach. I keep driving and find myself by Amy’s apartment block. I park the car, leaving it running and watching the door. Knowing she is locked up in her home too scared to venture out, sends anger flowing through my veins, and I clutch the steering wheel till my knuckles turn white. A part of me wants to go knock on her door, pull her into my arms and make her feel safe, but it’s the other part of me that I’m worried about. The part where all that anger turns into something more dangerous, more powerful. I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror; the tired bloodshot eyes, the messy dark hair tinged with sweat, the day-old stubble. I scoff at myself.
“You’re pathetic,” I say to the image in the mirror and put the car into gear.