He lifted her chin and placed a hard kiss on her lips.
“If you need to.”
“Nash.” She sighed. “I cried all over you, then you held my hair while I…” She waved her hand about. “And then I babbled on incoherently about my life, which I’m extremely privileged to have.”
“Doesn’t mean it makes you happy,” he said with far more accuracy than she’d ever allowed herself.
“I know, but this, the woman I’ve become here, is light-years from the one I usually am.”
“And that worries you?” He leaned his forearms on the gate.
“It confuses me, because I always thought I knew what and who I wanted to be.”
“I imagined you’d be the spreadsheet diarize everything kind of girl.”
She managed a smile at that. If only he knew. “I have to be. Meetings, work, social stuff. My business is busy, and I have people relying on me.”
“I wasn’t insulting you, Luna.”
Luna grabbed the gate and dropped into a crouch. She always did that when she needed to think. Why? She had no idea, but it had become a habit. He already thought her crazy; this would just reinforce that.
“You all good there?” He looked down at her.
“I have to go back.” Luna rose. “I need to go back. I need to focus harder and not make mistakes.”
“You don’t sound convinced, and it sounds like hell.”
“It’s not hell, it’s what I love. My life is there, and I need to go back to it,” she said again, with more strength. “I’m sorry and thank you seem inadequate, but I mean them anyway.”
He leaned on the gate, looking calm and steady. So steady that in her current state she wanted to hurl herself at that hard chest and inhale him. Luna didn’t know how to cope with the turmoil that was currently inside her. She was unraveling.
“You’re a good guy, Nash Winter, even though you don’t want anyone to know that.”
“Aww, shucks.” He touched her cheek with a long finger. “Luna, we didn’t use protection.”
Her eyes shot to his, then away. “I’m on birth control.”
“That’s good then.”
“So, I’ll see you round.”
He wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her close.
“See you round, Luna McKinley.” The kiss was soft and slow, and it took every ounce of her willpower to be the first to pull away.
She then turned and walked away. Climbing into her car, she drove away from Nash. A glance in the rearview mirror showed he was still leaning on the gate with Monica, watching her.
She wouldn’t cry again, because she’d done enough of that last night. But she could feel a good dose of self-pity. Nash Winters would not be in her future, even if he wanted to be. She wouldn’t do that to a man like him. He was a home-and-hearth guy, even if he’d deny it. He was building a house for a family that would one day fill the rooms he’d lovingly craft.
She sniffed loudly. It was time to get out of this town and away. Her life wasn’t here. She could never have what others like the Howards and the McBrides had.
Driving through town, she raised a hand when she saw Mr. Goldhirsh but didn’t stop. She drove to the Lodge, then hurried inside past reception and up to her room. Once there, she shut the door and fell face-first onto the bed. The phone in her room rang. Struggling upright, Luna answered it.
“Where the hell have you been?” Hugo roared at her.
“My phone went flat, and I haven’t charged it. Why are you yelling at me?” It shocked her to hear him speak that way. He’d never yelled like that in all the years they’d known each other.
She heard him curse.