I slurp my coffee in silence and wait until everything’s gotten quiet again. When my cup is empty, I place it in the sink and muster up the courage to go back to them.
When I see Mom’s face and the tears that stain them, I swallow away the lump in my throat. I don’t want to make her feel bad, so I won’t mention anything about it. I just hope she can cope with all of this.
“Kat,” she mumbles.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I say, immediately coming to her side. “Are you okay?”
“Don’t apologize.” She gently squeezes my hand and lets go again. “It’s not your fault.” She glares at Dad. “And I’m glad you’re both finally being honest.” She looks at me again. “Now tell me what happened with you two at the hotel.”
“I was there to surprise my boyfriend. But I found Dad there, which is when I discovered that he’s one who’s running the hotel. And then he fired my boyfriend on the spot.”
Mom looks confused. “But why? He was your boyfriend.”
“Dad didn’t like seeing me there … with him,” I reply, glaring at Dad.
Mom looks up at me. “I was so looking forward to meeting your first love.”
“He isn’t my first love, Mom,” I say, snorting. “I’ve had a couple.”
Her eyes widen. “Really? I always thought you were still a virgin.”
Now I’m blushing hard. “I haven’t been a virgin in years.”
“What? But you were always home.” She seems even more shocked and slightly offended too. “I can’t believe this.”
“Sorry, Mom, but I needed freedom. I needed to be able to do my thing, but you and Dad just wouldn’t let me,” I say, looking at them both. “I snuck out. A lot.”
Mom gives Dad a puzzled look. “I really don’t understand any of this. Is this girl our daughter?”
I laugh. “Mom … Really?”
“What?” she says with a snarky voice. “I just thought you’d be more like me.”
I shrug. “I don’t know what to tell you, Mom. I’m just … me.”
“And you? I feel like I don’t know either of you anymore,” Mom says while gazing at Dad.
“I’m sorry, Meredith.” Dad goes to his knees in front of Mom, grabbing her hand. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, but you always said you didn’t want to know, and I didn’t want you to feel like I was cheating on you.”
“Are you?” Mom almost pulls her hand away.
“No,” he says. “Of course not. I would never. I love you too much for that.” He smiles.
“So these events are only for your guests?” she asks.
“Yes …” And then he glances at me. “But our daughter has apparently been to one of them as well.”
Mom’s face turns ghostly white. “Kat? Is that true?”
I nod, biting my lip. “I needed to know what they were doing there, Mom. I like to try out new and interesting things. Even if they involve sex, yes.”
All she does is stare at me with her mouth wide open.
“I’m not that picture-perfect girl you want me to be,” I say. “You kept me cooped up in here for so long … When I finally got my own place, I needed to experience what it was like to live in freedom. To do everything that’s forbidden and more.”
“So you’ve been doing all these … dirty things too?” Mom swallows away her disgust.
I nod. I don’t like admitting this to my parents, but it’s about time we played open cards. “Yes, and I’m not ashamed to say I enjoyed it.”
“It’s that boy. He made you do it, didn’t he?” Dad interjects.
“No,” I say, stepping away, shaking my head. “No, I approached him.”
“How? When?” Mom asks, her voice shrill.
“Online. It’s how I’ve been meeting men for a while now.”
“Men? Several?” Mom almost loses it. “But I thought …”
“Like I said, I don’t need any help in the dating department,” I say awkwardly.
“But for how long?” she mutters.
“As long as I’ve been living on my own. I’m a grown woman, Mom. I don’t need permission to do what I like.”
She nods a few times, clearly still trying to cope with the fact that I’m not who she thought I was.
“Please understand,” I say, licking my lips. “I am my own person too.”
“I know, but …” She reaches out to me with open arms. “You’re my little baby.”
I smile and go in for a much-needed hug. “I haven’t been a baby in a long while, though,” I say softly.
She sniffs, and we stay there, hugging in silence for a while.
After a few minutes, she speaks again. “I’m sorry, honey. I just wanted the best for you. Not any of this. I was just so worried all the time that you’d be exposed to something bad …”
“It’s okay, Mom. But I have to live my life the way I want to. I need to experience everything. Even if it hurts.”