CHAPTER SEVEN
Vanessa
“Do you think I’m too rough with you, little girl?” Grayson asks.
I have to catch my breath before I can answer. Well, I don’t actually answer. I ask a question. “Are you serious?”
He nods. “Very serious. It’s been weighing on my mind for a while now.”
“Daddy,” I say, still struggling to get my breathing under control, “I think I had half a dozen orgasms right now. I mean, I love when you’re romantic and tender, too. I couldn’t take it like what we just did if it was that way all the time but I can’t imagine I would like if it’s never that way. I love it.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “You’re a damned remarkable little girl,” he says.
I say automatically, “Thank you, Daddy,” but the confusion on my face is evident. Before I can ask him what in the world he’s getting at, he reaches forward and strokes my cheek.
“I picked a pretty silly time to bring this up,” he says, “because I wasn’t talking about sex at all, little girl. I meant in the rest of our lives. Am I too strict with you? Do I give you too many spankings? Are you afraid of me?”
I stare at him in wonder and I’m about to just rattle off an answer but I can’t. I close my eyes and try to get my thoughts aligned. I finally manage to ask, “Why are you asking me that, Daddy?”
He sighs and says, “When we met, I was just out of the service and in some ways, it still feels like I’m adjusting to being a civilian. We’ve never talked about previous relationships. My girlfriends in the past, my little girls, they were nice.” He sees my eyes flash with jealousy and smiles at me, “and not nearly as nice as you, and that’s why I’m talking about this.”
“Go on,” I say. There’s no hiding the jealousy in my voice.
“I didn’t love any of them,” he said, “and so maybe I didn’t care if I was too strict. It was my way or the highway and eventually all of them chose the highway.”
“Wow,” I say. I know the jealousy is gone in my voice. It’s just disbelief now. How could anyone choose the highway with this perfect man? “I…” I feel like it will seem fake if I just say that I can’t even conceive of someone leaving him. I finally just say, “Well, their loss.”
He looks at me and says, “I didn’t care if they thought I was too strict, princess. Maybe I should have but I didn’t. But I do care with you. I do care and I can’t do something to drive you away. I don’t want you to choose the highway.”
I swallow hard and say, “You… you mean you…”
“I love you, princess,” he says.
I gasp and cry out, “I love you, too, Daddy!” I throw my arms around him and hold him tightly. He holds me for a moment but then pushes me back a bit.
“And that’s why I need you to answer my question, little girl.”
“Okay,” I say, “but I expect to be able to squeal and hold onto you again afterward.”
He chuckles and says, “Deal.”
I look at him and nod. “I’m afraid of you, Daddy. I’m afraid of you but it’s a good afraid. I…” I shake my head and try to find a way to say it. “Like Chrissy. If she puts herself down, she automatically looks around to make sure Roger didn’t hear her. She knows if he hears her, she won’t sit down comfortably for a while. So, she’s afraid of him.”
He looks at me contemplatively. I say, “But she’s afraid of him the right way. What she’s afraid of, really, is putting herself down. She’s been my best friend forever, Daddy. Just a few years ago, she might put herself down ten or twelve times a day. Now, maybe once every two weeks. She’s afraid of her Daddy where that’s concerned but it’s part of why she loves him.”
“I think I get that,” he says.
“You have never punished me for anything I didn’t ask you to punish me for, Daddy. Those are the very first rules we talked about. I mean, other than play punishing if we’re goofing around, of course, when I pretend to be bratty so you can chase me around or something. But for real punishments, you have never once punished me without a good reason and never once even if there is a good reason if that reason isn’t part of what I already agreed to submit to you.”
“I know but am I too strict with it?”
I shake my head firmly. “You told me the key to relationship like ours is trust. I have to trust you and you have to trust me. You have to trust me when I tell you that you’re not too strict for me.”
He nods “You’re right little girl. I trust you.”
The night is wonderful.
But he doesn’t trust me. I can tell he’s worries about being too strict. We have more conversations just like this one over two weeks or so and I don’t understand it. They’re all the same conversation. He keeps asking if he’s too strict and keep telling him he’s not and that he’s just what I want. I think it’s settled after a conversation but it isn’t and the conversations all start up again.
I don’t know what to do about it. It’s driving me crazy. I finally decide the only thing I can try is to come up with something drastic.