“What if we’d gotten married before Marc was conceived? Would you still feel the same way?”
He hadn’t meant for his words to sting, but Noelle had once been very conscious that they came from vastly different worlds, and Christian was less than enthusiastic about inviting her into his.
“Since that was obviously never going to happen, the issue never crossed my mind.” Her voice was stiff. Muscles rigid.
Five years ago, being his secret plaything had bothered her more and more the longer they were together. Then the tabloids began publishing pictures of him with the beautiful daughter of a Dutch viscount and speculation gathered momentum that they were on the brink of an engagement. She’d convinced herself to break things off. Christian had disputed the rumors and made love to her with such passion that she forgot all about the outside world for a while longer.
“Noelle.” His deep growl of frustration sent a shiver through her. “I was young and foolish when we were together five years ago. I had no idea what I was losing when I let you walk out of my life.”
“Let me walk?” Outrage flooded her with adrenaline. “You shoved me out.”
Christian snorted. “Hardly. I told you to take a fantastic career opportunity.”
“I wanted to stay with you.” There, she’d admitted what had been in her heart five years ago. Spoken the words she’d been too afraid to declare the last time she’d seen him.
“You don’t think I knew that? But I’d already taken too much from you, and you deserved better.” His statement rang with conviction. “I cared about you more than I was willing to admit. Even to myself.”
“I can’t believe you.” If she did, it would undo all the anger and resentment she’d built up over the years and leave her heart open to being hurt again. “You didn’t want me around anymore.”
“I know it’s easy to blame me for the way things ended between us, but you can’t truly tell me you were happy near the end.”
Noelle shook her head. “No. I wanted what I couldn’t have. To be the woman on your arm as well as the one in your bed.”
“We tried that and it didn’t work out very well, remember?” He was referring to the night of the accident, and the fact that her foolishness had almost gotten him killed.
“I remember. So, what makes you think it will be any better this time?”
“You’ll just have to trust me that it will.”